Posted on 04/01/2006 6:40:33 PM PST by twippo
SELMER, Tenn. - Mary Winkler was the quiet, unassuming wife of a small-town, by-the-Bible preacher, seemingly devoted to church and family. But now her husband, Matthew, is dead and she is charged with shooting him in the back with a shotgun.
Authorities won't discuss a motive, and church members say they didn't see any indication she was unhappy. But experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation, expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives.
Gayle Haggard, author of "A Life Embraced: A Hopeful Guide for the Pastor's Wife," said ministers' wives can feel isolated because of a misconception about leadership, since they and their husbands are leaders of their congregations.
They can feel trapped, she said, by unrealistic expectations "to live a certain way, to dress a certain way, for their children to behave a certain way."
And ministers' wives often find themselves handling more jobs than they expected to take on, said Becky Hunter, current president of the Global Pastors Wives Network.
"You're not really hired, and yet there is some expectation in most church settings that the pastor's wife comes along in a package deal," Hunter said.
Too often, ministers and their wives are reluctant to seek emotional help from members of their congregations because they're looked up to as leaders, said Lois Evans, a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. They can become isolated, lonely and depressed.
"This family needed help," said Evans. "It seems like there was no place to turn to and no place to talk and it became an explosive situation."
Matthew Winkler, 31, was found dead in a bedroom at the couple's parsonage Wednesday night in Selmer, a town of 4,400 people about 80 miles east of Memphis. Mary Winkler, 32, and her three young daughters were found Thursday night leaving a restaurant in Orange Beach, Ala., about 340 miles from Selmer. Orange Beach Police Chief Billy Wilkins said she had rented a condo on the beach after the slaying.
She was charged with first-degree murder and ordered held without bail. Tennessee Bureau of Investigation agent John Mehr said authorities know the motive for the killing, but he would not disclose it.
Mary Winkler was working part-time as a substitute teacher and taking college courses to get a teaching certificate as well as raising her three children and serving the congregation as its preacher's wife.
"You know she was weighted down," said Jimmie Smith, a member of Matthew Winkler's Fourth Street Church of Christ congregation and a retired psychiatric nurse.
Defense lawyer Steve Farese refused to talk about the Winklers' private life or if they had personal troubles.
"I can't discuss anything she's told me," Farese said. "But I think you have to look at the entire picture. You can't look at the end of a story and determine what the beginning and middle were."
John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
John 5:34 But I receive not testimony from man: but these things I say, that ye might be saved.
John 10:9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.
Acts 2:21 And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Acts 2:47 Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.
Acts 4:12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
The necessary inference from Galations 3:26 is that those that have not been baptized into Christ, HAVE NOT put on Christ. I cannot say it any more clearly.
They seem to fit together like one's left and right hand.
Yes, you can say it more clearly.
Either you believe that I will go to Heaven if i am baptized, or Hell if I am not.
Which is it?
And therefore, those that have not been baptized into Christ, have not put on Christ.
This is my last reply to Full Court, unless he can answer my questions which I posed. When I give him scripture he responds with "Liar" in return. Again, I did not write the scripture, an inspired man penned the book of Acts. Once again, Just give me a scripture which shows anyone in the new testatment who was ever saved without being baptized, including Cornelius and his household. They were immediately baptized just as those on Pentecost day, just as the Jailer and his household, and just a Saul in Acts Chapter 22. Please give me an honest and civil answer, I am waiting.
Can you not answer a direct question?
If I am not baptized, even if I trusted Christ for my salvation and believed on Him, I would still go to Hell?
Even if I was saved in a CoC service and was coming back that night to be baptized by a CoC elder and was hit by a car and died, unbaptized, but believing in Jesus Christ, believing the Gospel, I would still go to Hell?
Either you believe that I will go to Heaven if i am baptized, or Hell if I am not.
Which is it?
Why do you care what I think. Why aren't you worried about what the Bible teaches. I have repeated verses over and over. My opinion is not what is important. God's opinion is what's important. Matthew 7:21 Not everyone who says unto Me, Lord, Lord shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in Heaven. It's God's opinion I'm concerned with.
You made a false claim stating that "You are obviously trained by a "Pastor" to give stock answers to biblical doctrine" and I am telling YOU that YOU are lying.
Please get your stories straight. Also, I am not a he.
I didn't ask your opinion, I asked you to state directly what you believed.
And you are unable to do that.
Now that we have resolved that, I suggest that you log off and get some sleep.
Good night. Come back some time and look me up when you can honestly answer the questions.
According to you, this part of the Bible does not apply since Jesus was not dead yet.
Well, ma'am, you are obviously bitter and angry. For that I am truly sorry. Many of us here have tried to have a civil conversation with you. You refuse to answer our questions. You demand answers to silly "which came first the chicken or the egg" or "can God build a box he can't get out of" type of questions and you refuse to hear the Word of God. You have yet to remove one word that I asked you too, from I Peter 3. In fact, you have completely ignored I Peter 3. You have no answer. You only have your name calling. It is quite sad.
Full Court, you obviously claim to be a Christian, but I am shocked to learn that such a mean spirited "Christian"
could be female. The Christian women that I know have a degree of Humility, and do not call people "Liars" who are trying to be honest and civil in their answers. Perhaps I should shake the dust off my sandals as far as you are concerned. I do suggest that you go back to my very first post, number 236 and honestly read what I wrote, never intended to be mean or unkind. You make the call!
You are obviously so blinded by your anger, that you cannot read plain english. I have stated my belief. But I will not be baited by your anger and hatred. I will give you book, chapter and verse from God's Word and let that speak for me.
I have seen your type of tactics before. You bait and bait someone till you get them angry and make them say what you were trying to prove, even though they don't believe it, they say it out of anger. And then, you run around shouting to all who will listen, just how right you were about that person or their beliefs. I may have been born in the late afternoon, but it wasn't this afternoon.
Sweetie, I am not angry. I just have asked you questions that you will not answer.
So like I said, you just don't have a dog in this hunt.
Good night.
That was a very judgemental post.
Pray about it.
Good night.
Well, "Sweetie", I have answered all your questions. Except I refuse to be baited by you. I have answered from God's Word. My opinion as to your soul's destiny is irrelevant. What is relevant is what God's Word says about your soul's destiny.
And as for answereing questions...I'm still waiting for I Peter 3. What are you scared of? Answer it if you can.
Now that is interesting FC. You are slamming Ship-H for being judgmental, and at the same time, you slam me for not making a personal judgment regarding your salvation. In other words, you are slamming me for not being judgmental.
I guess nothing makes you happy.
Please settle down - we are discussing here and merely explaining that we are not a cult. The Church of Christ has been grossly attacked on this thread and we are attempting to state that there is misrepresentation of the beliefs of the Church of Christ here.
First - I don't believe it is my position as a Church of Christ member to go around judging people as to where they will spend eternity. That is God's business and God is and has always been God and will do as He chooses.
Second - we are merely people that go to the Bible and study to learn of Jesus and God and what we are to believe.
Going to the Bible, (the inspired word of God - not subject to change or alteration by man) we read what we are told to do. We then follow it. We do not take from or add to what is written there.
Therefore, when we read that God sent His Son to die for our sins as a one time sacrifice; when we read repent of your sins and be baptised and you will be saved; when we learn that we are to confess our belief that Jesus is the Son of God and be buried with him in baptism and arise to walk in newness of life-we do these things.
We could decide to ignore "be baptised for the remission of your sins" and decide that it was not needed - but then, we are adding to or taking from the Bible. We are also told in the Bible NOT to add to or take from the inspired word.
We then are a member of Christ's church because we followed the instructions we found in the inspired word the Bible. Christ is the head of the church and we are following him - not man's view of what is needed.
Any person anywhere that reads the Bible and sees the instructions and follows them, will also be a member of Christ's church.
Man does not need other men to tell him what to believe - go to the words of God and find out.
This is where all the claims of we are the only ones going to heaven spring from. When we try and tell others to also follow the instructions we found in the Bible for their salvation - it is interpreted as "if we don't belong to the Church of Christ (a denomination in other denomination members eyes) all are going to hell. Yet, if we are doing as the Bible tells us, are we a member of Christ's church? And are we to tell people that the Bible accepts everything even different than expressed in the Bible?
All of this is just men seeking to claim that their way is the perfect way - a contest, who is right.
How much better to just seek the truth from the Bible yourself and let it determine your beliefs.
And - remember, man is not God and man tends to stress the parts he likes and ignore the parts he does not like. Therefore, it is dangerous to believe a creed determined by man without checking the Bible to verify.
If you find that your current beliefs do not match what the Bible says - then you handle it with God. Remembering just "WHO" is God and "WHO" is the one creating Heaven and giving salvation.
May God give you and us wisdom to follow His will.
Well, if I was all riled up, I guess maybe I'd settle down. Perhaps you had someone else in mind? I don't believe I've used the word "cult", nor have I attacked anyone's beliefs.
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