"When I look at porn my fantasies are as much about the woman enjoying it as anything else.... "
And would it matter if, in reality, she really wasn't enjoying it?
Does it matter that, in reality, a crew of people work on her to make her APPEAR that she is enjoying it?
Afterall...if porn were really a fun satisfying career - they would be some of the happiest bunch of folks ever.
In reality - they are, on average, a miserable bunch.
"On several occasions, the pictorials have inspired me to write poetry, which I then send to the lady who inspired it.... And sometimes I get appreciative (non-sexual) responses."
So...porn does have the ability to inspire people?
So..for you it inspires you to write poetry to a woman you don't know - even though you are married - because she has managed to convince you she looks like she is enjoying herself.
Is it possible - then - that porn could inspire other people to act out their fantasies in other ways? And possibly in more destructive, even violent ways?
"I like to think what their personalities might be like... what they might be interested in... What they are like as people. Seeing them naked enhances the enjoyment. But I find myself putting them on a pedestal, if anything. I certainly don't look down on them for their choices."
Why does it enhance the enjoyement when they are naked?
Why does that cause you to wonder about their personalities?
And why are they on that pedestal? You don't know them. It is a picture - a carefully crafted picture with the intent of manipulating souls like you into thinking it is something meaningful.
Meanwhile - there is your wife. She is real - you know her. Why waste time on strangers when the best thing in your life is within your grasp?
I am not suggesting we look down on these people.
I am suggesting we look at the reality of the situation.
These poor people are degrading themselves because they are desparate for money. They are contributing to immorality in the society. They are promoting dangerous behavior that contributes to disease and even violence.
"Maybe I'm unusual among men in that...."
I am not surprised at all that you are greatly affected by the images and imagine various things about the participants.That is precisely what they are trying to do.
We went through this bit before... Or maybe I went through it with someone else. Lots of things have the ability to inspire destructive behavior. Catcher in the Rye, Beatles Music... I read an essay some years ago that blamed Robert Heinlein for (indirectly) causing the OK City bombing. Radical feminists have blamed the Super Bowl for violence against women.
Porn can inspire negative acts -- lots of things can. But it is the person who commits the negative act who is to blame, not the inspiration. As for the rest... Maybe porn stars are a miserable bunch; maybe they're not. But again, misery comes from a lot of professions.
As for the rest.... Why does nudity enhance inspiration for me? Why do I wonder about them? I don't know... it's the way I think... it may be related to why I write.
As for my wife, I do not neglect her, nor does she feel generally feel neglected... and believe me, when she does, she lets me know. Looking at porn does not make me love or appreciate my wife any less than a good performance by one of my son's classmates in a school play makes me appreciate or love my son any less. Porn is not a replacement for my wife any more than reading Shakespeare's As You Like It -- and I've loved Rosalind since I first read it -- is a replacement for my wife.
As for being affected by porn, of course I am. That's what its creators are trying to do. So do writers, musicians, and artists -- and I get inspiration from them, as well....