Posted on 04/01/2006 10:05:47 AM PST by Fred
The 50th Congressional District is boiling over. Happy days are here again for broadcast media, which are fattening up on campaign ads. In the stretch run of the race to replace Randall Harold Cunningham,it's difficult to keep up with the scandals, peccadilloes and pratfalls.
A quick and dirty summary of the most recent eruptions involving the supposed front-runners:
IT'S MY PARTY AND I CAN RUN AWAY FROM IT IF I WANT TO – Buoyed by one poll that has her within striking distance of the magical 50 percent, a margin that would give her the Republican seat outright, Democrat Francine Busby has installed a full-court press in an effort to appeal to independents and cross-over Republicans.
According to sources close to her campaign, Busby will start mailing (with her sincere compliments) paperback copies of Sen. John McCain's “Faith of My Fathers” to lucky high-propensity voters. The consoling message to moderates: Hillary and Nancy aren't the stars of my party.
ALOHA ON SPEED –Hit pieces targeting former Congressman Brian Bilbray have gone way over the top. The most recent feature a computer-rigged fake photograph of Bilbray riding a wave tandem with corrupt lobbyist Jack Abramoff. The caption says: “Bilbray and buddy Washington lobbyist carve wave in the Mariana Islands on surf junket. Roasted pig served at luau.”
In another mailer, Bilbray is shown working in what appears to be a meth lab in a Rancho Santa Fe mansion with his old associate, Mike Ellis, former Metabolife executive. Caption: “Bilbray earns lavish campaign contributions he received from death-dealing herbal appetite suppressant.”
When contacted for comment, Bilbray, a seen-it-all politician, said, “I wouldn't recognize Jack Abramoff even if I was introduced to him and he was wearing a name tag. Plus, I surf solo. What's more, I've always been a champion of health food, not pork. I eat granola every morning. Say what you will about Metabolife, at least it's organic.”
NOWHERE MAN –Terrified that multimillionaire Eric Roach's glossy media campaign could steamroll voters, campaign consultants of potential also-rans – Bilbray, former Assemblyman Howard Kaloogian, state Sen. Bill Morrow and businessmen Richard Earnest, Alan Uke and Bill Hauf – have been exchanging e-mail to gather damaging dirt on Roach, a conservative businessman who moved into Rancho Santa Fe several years ago.
Sources say they're throwing up their hands. Efforts to link Roach to an investor who was later alleged to be a pedophile went nowhere. Bottom line, Roach's opponents are working with a big fat . . . zero. It's as if he materialized out of nowhere, they grumble. Look for last-minute hit pieces showing Roach as an empty, but very expensive, suit. When you've got nothing, you work with what you've got.
PHOTO FINISHED – Thanks to vigilant bloggers, former Assemblyman Howard Kaloogian's fitness to serve an ethically challenged district has been called into question.
As is now legend, Kaloogian's Web site displayed a photograph that purported to show the hum of commerce in downtown Baghdad. (Kaloogian believes, evidently without irony, that the war is going well and it's the liberal press that distorts our perspective of everyday life in Iraq.)
The problem: Kaloogian's photo was taken in Istanbul, not Baghdad. He has admitted the mistake – and in the process received in the local and national media about $1 million worth of free publicity as an Iraq cheerleader.
But wait. There's another error on Kaloogian's Web site.
In a snapshot in his photo gallery, Kaloogian is supposedly standing near Mount Ararat in “Aremenia.” (Most of us know it as as Armenia.)
Thanks to a biblical blogger with an interest in geology, I have learned that the mountain in the photograph is not Mount Ararat, the post-flood landing platform for Noah's Ark.
No, a close analysis of the outcropping's outline proves that Kaloogian is actually posing in the San Pasqual Valley with a snow-capped Mount Palomar in the background. When told of the error, Kaloogian said, “I can't believe it. Somehow photos from my tour of the Wild Animal Park got switched with those taken on the Iraq trip.”
CUT TO THE RAPER CHASE –After proposing chemical castration after the first conviction for child molestation, state Sen. Morrow did not get the campaign lift he'd hoped for. Polls show him to be lagging in fourth or fifth place.
In a desperate bid for elevation, Morrow is mulling a last-minute offensive: Advocate the physical castration of second-time offenders. The snappy slogan: “The Kindest Cut for Kids.”
CALENDAR CHECK – You probably figured it out by now. It's April 1, just 10 more days to fool around before Exorcism Day.
Logan Jenkins can be reached at (760) 737-7555 or by e-mail at logan.jenkins@uniontrib.com.
FYI, Mt. Palomar is in San Diego County, California, USA!....
Ya having fun, FREd? lolol
Go Howard!!!!
Happy April Fools Day!
...in the process received in the local and national media about $1 million worth of free publicity as an Iraq cheerleader.
Stuff like this hasn't stopped moderates from pretending to be conservatives either, no big deal. imo.
Personally, my favor is the METH LAB AD!
did he not go to Iraq?
Logan Jenkin's gets dead on serious when he rips Kaloogian for implying the media has intentionally reported this war in a negative light, ignoring any successes and rooting for the U.S. to lose and pull out and have Bush (whom they hate) admit defeat and suffer humiliation.
I think most Freepers who have had any experiences with Howard Kaloogian will know that he is one of the leading conservative figures in California and perhaps the nation.
His 10-day "Voices of Soldier" trip to Iraq was all about allowing our troops speak to the nation direct and unfiltered via a delegation of radio talk show hosts that Kaloogian and Melanie Morgan (of Move America Forward) brought with them.
How anyone can attack that is beyond me. Apparently it's not in some people's interests to want to see our troops have a chance to tell the American public the straight truth about the good and the bad taking place in Iraq.
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