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What's Happening to Boys? [WaPo op-ed column]
Washington Post ^ | 3/30/06 | Leonard Sax

Posted on 03/31/2006 4:35:06 AM PST by Timeout

What's Happening to Boys?

The romantic comedy "Failure to Launch," which opened as the No. 1 movie in the nation this month, has substantially exceeded pre-launch predictions, taking in more than $64 million in its first three weeks.
[snip]

...a young man who is affable, intelligent, good-looking -- and completely unmotivated. He's still living at home and seems to have no ambitions beyond playing video games, hanging out with his buddies (two young men who are also still living with their parents) and having sex.
[snip]

...According to the Census Bureau, fully one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home with their parents -- a roughly 100 percent increase in the past 20 years. No such change has occurred with regard to young women. Why?
[snip]

...We've batted around lots of ideas. Maybe the problem has to do with the way the school curriculum has changed. Maybe it has to do with environmental toxins that affect boys differently than girls (not as crazy an idea as it sounds). Maybe it has to do with changes in the workforce, with fewer blue-collar jobs and more emphasis on the service industry. Maybe it's some combination of all of the above, or other factors we haven't yet identified.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: boys; failuretolaunch; feminism; males; marijuana; masculinity; medicalmarijuana; men; moviereview; wodlist
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To: cyborg

My Father could live in my house. In fact, I have offered several times. But I could not live in my Father's house, and he could not live with it either.

Could be that's just the way it is with fathers and sons in my family. Nineteen-year-old men are "extra men". Nothing is quite so disruptive as "extra men".


101 posted on 03/31/2006 6:18:28 AM PST by bondjamesbond (Rice '08)
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To: bondjamesbond
was the youngest child in my family. As long as I could remember, on my birthday, Dad would announce "Only X more years, and you're outta here!", with X = 18 - My Age. On my eighteenth birthday, my bag was packed, and I was outta there!

i told my 4 kids that "It's a law that you have to move out by 18". Started when my oldest was 9, now 15. My wife rolled her eyes but I told her that every serial killer on the television news "lived at home with mommy"... 'nuff said.

102 posted on 03/31/2006 6:19:09 AM PST by Dick Vomer (liberals suck......... but it depends on what your definition of the word "suck" is.)
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To: cyborg
"son is downstairs with his family"

Ah ha, there is the difference. He is obviously working and taking care of his family. Being Italian myself, that was commonplace when i grew up. But now the opposite is happening. We are creating a generation of children who refuse to grow up to be adults. When I here people give reasons for their divorce as being they married too young (mid 20s), it is a sign that we, their parents' generation, have failed in forcing them to grow up. My husband and I get along much better with out 22 year old son since he has moved out and he would absolutely agree.
103 posted on 03/31/2006 6:19:12 AM PST by bella1
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To: bondjamesbond

Well okay I see your point. Maybe it's easier for women to live together, mother and daughter. I don't think I could live with my husband's mother. Two women can't rule one house ;O)


104 posted on 03/31/2006 6:19:41 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: cyborg
I rather stay with my mom than live in some apartment by myself.

hmmmm..... what about bring chicks over after a date...or having the guys over for football and poker...or just ......nevermind.

I think you've got what the WaPo is reporting.

105 posted on 03/31/2006 6:22:34 AM PST by Dick Vomer (liberals suck......... but it depends on what your definition of the word "suck" is.)
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To: Timeout
It's all about sex.

Men used to have to "earn" sex from women, usually by marrying them. And women demanded some kind of success from the man before she would marry him and sleep with him.

Easy sex removes the motivation for a man to make something of himself.

106 posted on 03/31/2006 6:23:16 AM PST by narby (Evolution is the new "third rail" in American politics)
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To: bondjamesbond
Nineteen-year-old men are "extra men". Nothing is quite so disruptive as "extra men".

Subadult male Lions are evicted from the pride at adolescence. No argument, no discussion. Leave, or suffer constant harrassment.

Makes the decision pretty simple.

107 posted on 03/31/2006 6:23:41 AM PST by xsrdx (Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas)
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To: Dick Vomer

I'm a girl. I also know guys who don't bring chicks over because they're christian men and wouldn't disrespect themselves that way. One of the young men who is past eighteen was just accepted into medical school.


108 posted on 03/31/2006 6:24:22 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: bella1

Divorce is a big problem today :(


109 posted on 03/31/2006 6:25:02 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: bondjamesbond

My wife has a similar comment. We homeschool the kids. Her mantra is "Two Thousand Seventeen!!!" That's when the last kid graduates.


110 posted on 03/31/2006 6:25:38 AM PST by cyclotic (Cub Scouts-Teach 'em young to be men, and politically incorrect in the process)
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To: cyborg
Kids should have a life plan. I just don't understand the 'get them out when they're 18' thing though.

The reason to get them out at 18 is because staying at home interferes with several key components of the plan. They cannot be on their own until they learn to be on their own. They cannot learn to be on their own until they are on their own.

This is an inherently messy business. It is better that it occurs when they are 18 and young and strong. Then if there is a blow-up, it's not to late too bring them back and try again later.

111 posted on 03/31/2006 6:25:52 AM PST by bondjamesbond (Rice '08)
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To: bondjamesbond

Why do people have kids then??? LOL


112 posted on 03/31/2006 6:27:02 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: Aquamarine
From what I've seen with my co-workers and relatives, it's mommy.

A phenomenon that I've seen a lot, too, is that dad is willing to get tough with his kids but he won't go toe-to-toe with his wife when she reneges on her end of the agreement. He heads off to the garage grumbling, a broken man, has to eat the costs of whatever preparations were made to get their 20-something out of the house, and the dysfunctional cycle in the home continues. Little Johnny gets a good laugh knowing that he can crack mommy whenever dad tries to get tough with him. It's pathetic and sad.

113 posted on 03/31/2006 6:27:45 AM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity ("Sharpei diem - Seize the wrinkled dog.")
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To: Timeout

My kids have been informed that they will receive a set of wheels for graduating from high school. Their initial glee is quickly dampened when they learn that the wheels will be attached to rolling luggage.


114 posted on 03/31/2006 6:29:05 AM PST by RGSpincich
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To: EricT.

"What kind of whacked out industry does that? Aside from emergency medicine, only a fool would sign up for a job like with those hours. As important as work is, making it the focus of one's existence is just plain sick. Slavery was banned 140 years ago."

You think anyone is stupid enough to sign up for hours like that? Get a clue. It's called being "a salaried employee". And they never tell you they expect that kind of committment up front, you know the job will probably require some extra hours but you never think it will get to that level, it just creeps up on you.

People have mortgages, insurance, braces for kid's teeth, etc., to pay for. Then the job market shrinks due to global competition and outsourcing and they take whatever job they can find.

Then the management signs up for some impossible deadline and the next thing you know your management and all your co-workers are working impossible hours and expecting it out of you, too (B.T.D.T., got the T-shirt). Sure you can quit but not until you find another job, so you are stuck for awhile.

It's not really slavery, it's more like Indentured Servanthood. You are allowing them to do it to you.


115 posted on 03/31/2006 6:29:09 AM PST by webstersII
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To: Trust but Verify
it would be the end of our hopes that he goes to school. So we are just marking time for awhile.

what about HIS hopes that he go to school. I think you're crippling him.

He should get two jobs and afford a place of his own. I worked as part of a construction site clean up crew during the day, bartender at restaurant night and aide at nursing home at night walking the old folks to the bathroom or cleaning up their waste if they had an accident in bed....

I got to cat nap at the nursing home job and had weekends off the construction job, but I learned that if you worked all the time you didn't spend money and that when I went back to school I didn't screw around as much as the guys whose mommy and daddy paid for everything, cause I wanted to start earning some real money..... being bone tired and hot are real motivators to getting a good education.

116 posted on 03/31/2006 6:30:32 AM PST by Dick Vomer (liberals suck......... but it depends on what your definition of the word "suck" is.)
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To: Timeout
Any preference outside of performance is the very social engineering you're claiming to hate. What's wrong with good old merit? Hank makes more than Larry, because Hank's a better technician, salesman, assembler, etc etc. The fact that Larry has a wife and six kids and Hank is single is totally besides the point.

Likewise, as long as Hank is out producing Larry, Hank should be in line for the promotions, not Larry. This whole idea that we prop married people up over single people is preposterous, and I've been married for most of my life now.
117 posted on 03/31/2006 6:31:39 AM PST by Melas (What!? Read or learn something? Why would anyone do that, when they can just go on being stupid)
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To: cyborg

Are you a guy or a gal living at home with your mother? I think a woman living at home is an entirely different manner. In fact, given the lack of morality that exists these days, I support a woman living at home until she marries. It is safer for the woman and will tend to keep undesirable men away. JMHO


118 posted on 03/31/2006 6:36:24 AM PST by pepperdog
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To: Timeout

"...According to the Census Bureau, fully one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home with their parents -- a roughly 100 percent increase in the past 20 years. No such change has occurred with regard to young women. Why?"


I blame the Libertarian Party, Linux, and computer games.


119 posted on 03/31/2006 6:37:07 AM PST by MineralMan (godless atheist)
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To: pepperdog

I'm a girl. I would agree with you too, I don't know if it's safe for a girl to live by herself. A guy can defend himself but there's morality issues there too with bringing home lots of girls,etc.


120 posted on 03/31/2006 6:38:34 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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