Man did not rescue child for fear of 'pervert' slur

I'm a mother, too, and I fully understand.

Then there are the times when you try to help a kid who appears lost, only to be snapped-at by the mama. Example: Last summer, I kept chasing a 4yo boy out of a parking lot back into the park to play. Finally, I walked him over to his mom. Some guy who saw what I was doing said, "You're wasting your time." Sure enough, it turns out mama was TELLING him to go play in the parking lot :-0 and couldn't understand my reaction. I walked away, and the guy said, "See, I told you."

The guy has a very valid point. I found a 3 year old kid crying and wandering around a department store. I was almost afraid to take the kid to a store employee. I finally did and sure enough I was detained for over an hour and grilled by the store security guards.

I asked them, "What was I supposed to do? Just let the kid wander around lost and not say anything?

Luckily for me the kid was old enough to tell them that "the man found me when I was lost". When the mother was located and brought in to retrieve her child (and it really wasn't her fault - she looked away for 5 seconds and the kid was gone), she grabbed the kid and glared at me like I had tried to snatch her kid. I told her next time I'd just let the kid wander away. She finally thawed a bit, but never did thank me.

I didn't save the kid for in order to be thanked, but it certainly would have been a nice gesture.

Too many people are raising their kids to be terrified of strangers, when statistics show that the vast majority of kidnappers and child molesters are NOT strangers - but people the parents know and trust.

Go figure.

There's a branch of psychology that tried to make Freud understandable. It's called Transactional Analysis. It's a simple way of understanding how we interact and how we make each feel miserable or happy, in simple terms.

That theory posits that in the type of interaction you describe, there is a victim (the child in the case you cite), the persecutor (mother), and a (would-be) rescuer (you). As soon as the rescuer tries to step in to stop a terrible situation, the victim and the persecutor turn on the rescuer and make them a victim.

Watch domestic disputes on "Cops" and you'll see exactly what I mean. I've heard that more cops are hurt in domestic disputes than in any other situation they encounter.

Makes sense to me. That's why a lot of people avoid "helping" in domestic disputes, and I can't say I blame them.

I did make a decision that day never to step in again. It just seemed so pointless. I'm chasing the child out of the parking lot, and then his mother is chasing him back into it.

When the mother was located and brought in to retrieve her child (and it really wasn't her fault - she looked away for 5 seconds and the kid was gone), she grabbed the kid and glared at me like I had tried to snatch her kid.

Maybe she was feeling guilty about losing her child, and you just became the convenient scapegoat. Even though a child can wander off easily - you just have to turn your head for a few seconds, like you said - that doesn't mean a parent won't feel guilty about it. Maybe it was easier for her to suspect you rather than blame herself for her child wandering off.

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