[tomkow6]

 

Today's FEEBLE

YOKE :

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Tomkow, who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket, went in to try out for the job.

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Tomkow, what is 1 and 1?"

"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right. What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Today and tomorrow."
The sheriff was again surprised that Tomkow supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Tomkow, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Tomkow looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, Tomkow wandered over to the bar where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.

Tomkow was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

[GodBlessUSA]

:)

[Lady Jag]

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.  He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.  "What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.  "It's not a gong.  It's a talking clock", the drunk replied.  

 "A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.  

 "Yup", replied the drunk.  

 "How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.  

 "Watch", the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an  ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.  The three stood looking at one  another for a moment.  

 Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You moron. It's three-fifteen in the morning!"