To: HitmanLV; misterrob
Postponing a lifelong commitment for a decade as you mature and develop as a person isn't a bad thing at all, and it doesn't mean you aren't romantic.
I hear what you are saying. My mother told me all the same stuff. She's on her 4th husband. Everything I ever tried to do that she told me I couldn't do because I was 'too young and immature' I succeeded at. Moreover, she also failed at most of those things herself. Her years of experience did her absolutely no good. My dad tells a story about a coworker at his machine shop, he wanted to do something the wrong way. The guy told my dad that "I've been doing it this way for 25 years." Dad immediately informed him that he'd been f****** it up for 25 years, which he had.
I respect what the 'wait a while' folks are trying to say, but when I see the older folks leading totally screwed up lives, lives that I want no part of, then statements like this:
People at the age of 24 simply do not have the life experiences that older folks do.
aren't going to fly.
I assure you, I know myself very, very well. And this self knowledge came the hard way.
All that being said, it remains in the hands of the Lord. Personally, I think the time is near but if He has other plans, I'm certainly going to submit to his correction and guidance.
24 posted on
03/20/2006 9:55:23 AM PST by
JamesP81
To: JamesP81
I understand. And while I wouldn't say 'people at the age of 24 simply do not have the life experiences that older folks do,' I would say that people mature and change and that you will be a different person at 34 than you are at 24. So will your bride.
There's almost no downside to being patient at your age. And have a little fun - dating is a good & fun experience.
If you are going to come to a conclusion based partially on discounting what older folks with screwed up lives say, take the rose colored glasses off for a second and evaluate fairly the experience of younger folks with screwed up lives. Of about a dozen couples I know who married in their young to mid 20s, over 1/2 are divorced (including two couples I would have bet the mortgage that they would be together always). Some more are outwardly unhappy (but who knows the truth?). Two couples are still together and outwardly happy (but who knows?).
'Screwed up' lives gets around - no subset of people defined by age has a corner on that market. That has nothing to do with you, though. Keep an open mind and find your own way.
33 posted on
03/20/2006 10:14:41 AM PST by
HitmanLV
(Listen to my demos for Savage Nation contest: http://www.geocities.com/mr_vinnie_vegas/index.html)
To: JamesP81
I think you're on the right track myself. Get married and have two, three or four children while you're still young and healthy. Having a wife and kids at home is the greatest incentive you can have to be responsible and to succeed financially. Look around you at the bachelors in their 30's and I'll bet you find that the majority drink too much, party too much, live in rented apartments and have very little else to their name except for flashy cars.
You'll also get to have the satisfaction of seeing your grandchildren grow up while you're still healthy enough to participate.
To: JamesP81
Only one person can figure out if you are mature enough. You. My advice, as a recently engaged 29yearold, is take your time and be satisfied where you are at in your life. That is not the same as 'wait till you are older'. Just have a mind set that is not putting extra pressure on you to be married NOW. Being somewhat content with your singleness but interested in more will give you a certain level of confidence (women dig that). Oh, and DON'T settle! That is the problem with wanting to get married as soon as possible. You might want to settle on something you really know is not right. Don't settle for less and don't compromise your standards.
47 posted on
03/20/2006 10:37:56 AM PST by
TalonDJ
To: JamesP81; HitmanLV; TonyRo76
James, you sound like you have a very well-developed sense of who you are and what kind of life you want to lead.
I'll agree with HitmanLV on one point: for some people, the whole 'wait until you're older' bit is good advice. HitmanLV seems quite confident that he's made the right choices in his life, so he's probably one of those people.
However, his path is by no means the universal route to happiness. TonyRo76 has given another perspective in post number 16 (an excellent one, IMO).
Keep praying and keep the faith, and don't let anyone else make your choices for you :)
98 posted on
03/20/2006 6:22:20 PM PST by
annie laurie
(All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost)
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