"Undergraduate students are only half done at 20. As long as they're living productively and honestly, my daughters are welcome at home well into their twenties, or until they are married. The problem with that is what?"
I absolutely agree with you. Kick them out by age 20?
As for messy rooms, unless it really is a health hazard, it's just not worth expending a lot of energy on. There are way more important things.
I'm going to print this out and save it (out of my daughter's reach). Next time I'm about to blow my stack, I'll lock myself in my room and read it over and over! You're right, there are way more important things and, when the kids are gone and their rooms neat and clean, who will care about today's mess?
What do you do when it's your Daughter-in-Law, and the house is a pig sty....??? With cat poop in the clean clothes basket, a full cat box on the front porch to greet you when you arrive, or on the back porch baking in the sun......? And, the one bathroom (for 6 people) didn't get cleaned until around oh, 4 months or so....
Note: The DIL's Mother is the same way....
Here is why I'm going to kick out my children at age 17 (to go to college, which I will help pay for):
We need bedroom #1 back to turn into a study.
We need bedroom #2 back to turn into an exercise room.
We need bedroom #3 back to turn into a guest room.
We need bedroom #4 back to turn into a home theater.
Our 2080 sq ft house is crammed now with 6 people. We can't wait to get them out so we have some breathing room!
The first one moves out in 8 years. I love my children dearly, but look forward to them moving out and becoming independent.
Agreed. I finally told my son that the clutter didn't bother me. He just has to keep up the food, dishes and trash.
Of course I also refuse to help him look for anything when he can't find it.