I guess I just disagree. If dad has to be gone for a while -- or mom -- because of their service, kids understand that. But to deny custody -- even in partiality -- when they return is unfair to both the child AND the parent. The government is denying the returning parent an opportunity for relationship. And FWIW, I prefer an all-male military. But it's not the reality, and I respect the women who choose to serve.
I usually stay out of these threads, since it's really just an unfortunate situation however it works out. There are valid points on either side.
Why should the child be automatically yanked away from his/her life with one parent when the other parent comes home, if joint custody is an option. A deployed parent shouldn't be automatically excluded, but giving the child a stable lifestyle is (or certainly should be) a very important factor when determining his or her best interest.