It's not incongruent if one parent is deployed while the other remains at home with kids--that is a reasonable sacrifice people have made for ages. But if parents are divorced, and one leaves for an extended period, it should be expected that the other one will gain (and continue to have, in the interest of stability) a larger role in the children's lives.
So, for the sake of argument, the man who leaves the US in service to his country, in good faith, and has a wife left at home who decides for whatever reason, that she's had enough and files for divorce, should then be penalized BY the goevernment which he serves for his choice to serve our country by losing custody of his kids as well??