We are all born unique, with innate gifts and drives. Good parents nourish their children as they would a garden they expect good things from. They feed them, shelter them from the storms of life as best they can, give them love and discipline them from the baser natures we are all also born with. They do not "smother" them. Mind you, I said Good Parents. No one is perfect, no not one. We hear alot about disfunctional families (and I suppose most families experience occasional disfunction). Like the news, only the exceptional, or bad news gets reported. Rarely the good, or "normal".
Philosopher that I think you are, lighten up a little. There is a bright side. If you came from an unhappy background, forgive and any bitterness will flee from you.
As far as public schools are concerned, like society as a whole, we get what we deserve if we do nothing about it.
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. -- the first line from Anna Karenina
My personal view is that education is currently under attack from the right and the left. Kids today are caught in the crossfire of doctrine, dogma and agenda. And no good will come of it.