If you are looking for more power, a .41 Magnum won't punish you as much as a .44 or a .454 will. The .460 XVR or the .500 S&W are recoil junkies wetdreams. For a carry piece, Springfield XD in .45 ACP or a Sig P220. 1911's these days are too finiky about what they eat and how they are maintained.
9mm are labeled useless because the military and LE are limited to FMJ rounds. JHP and HP rounds in 9mm will tear a chunk out of anyone and do real damage to the human body.