Are we a high-school student campaigning for 'most popular' here, or a nation at war? We've jumped the gun with the whole 'hearts-and-minds' campaign in the ME. If we take a look back on past successful military campaigns, there was a pattern:
1) Identify the enemy 2) Sever supply lines, vital infrastructure, and all sources of support 3) Engage enemy forces 4) Demoralize civilians 5) Obtain a signed surrender from leadership 6) Help with the rebuilding process
These things are in order for a reason. They have to fully capitulate first before we can win their respect. If they don't respect us, we're just asking for trouble later. Don't confuse greed or need with respect. Kindness is then taken for weakness rather than what it is.