"Few go to your hayseed states and those that do think the locals are brain dead."
And we make fun of you every chance we get, which is all too often for my tastes. I wish I had a nickel for every moronic question I had to answer from some yankee-asshole tourist like you. Showing up in your rental cars with shorts pulled up to your armpits. Lily white legs blinding me while your damn fanny-packs jingles as you walk my way to ask if we have dishes made with soy products while you look over your terminator sunglasses at me.
You pronounce everything wrong. A pecan is not a can you sit by the bed at night so you don't have to go all the way to the bathroom. And what is it with you people and one way sighns? Can't you read? Should we change it to "This way, Jerk" to make you feel more at home?
So yeah, us hatseeds will keep our good, abundant, reasonably-priced land. We will keep out low cost of living and low real estate prices. We will keep the warm sunny weather and our beautiful 9 months of green trees, grass and beautiful foliage.
You can have the smog, bums and overcrowding. We are grateful.
zing!