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I'm glad that Amherst County chose to come out of the cold and join the rest of the country in accepting the conclusion of the civil rights movements.

Time for you guys to come in out of the cold and lower the American flag. Time to admit that your people lost the Vietnamese War. You and they rolled over -- we didn't. Like the commercial says, "this one's for you."

Take your American-flag decals off your bumpers and license plates. Take the flag off your houses -- this is the age of NAFTA, and of "North American" consciousness. The Council on Foreign Relations has told Congress to get with it: you do your part, too, please.

Time for you "patriots" to grow up and join the 21st century.

And while you're at it -- take your state flags off your homepages, too. They just look foolish there, advertising a doubtful "allegiance" to an entity you barely recognize anymore -- and wouldn't notice at all, if it weren't for the occasional inconvenience. Hardly one in 15 of your fellow state "citizens" can even tell you what your state flag looks like. You barely even believe in states and state government -- who are you fooling? It's actually a little embarrassing seeing those little flags up there, as if they actually meant something.

This is the age of globe-girdling economic octopi, the proud children of your Yankee Gilded Age -- and now of NAFTA, when Oceania is becoming. Big Brother's coming, and it's time to put away the last of your childhood attachments. Time to welcome the coming of INGSOC, and grow up. We're all little people now, thanks to your exertions.

Welcome to the new century, the Century of World Empire. And thanks, guys, for all the support.

</sarc>