First problem solved.
Now, baby sitters ~ just lock your kids in the bedroom. Baby sitters are too difficult to get and all they want to do is drink your beer and lay on your couch with their boyfriends.
Second problem solved.
Well, guess that paint doesn't really bother anybody who needs to be bothered.
While I am not a brain surgeon (I am an anesthesiologist) I can say unequivocally that my wife will no longer go out with me when I am on-call as I left 2 dinners at fairly nice restaurantes in a row when the *$%^*** beeper went off...problem solved!