"I don't disagree with the overall thrust of this article or with the last three points, but with regard to the first point that implies cohabiting makes divorce more likely I think that's bunk. What it reveals, in my view, is that the values of those who cohabit are already different from those who do not, and that these values predispose them to a greater likelihood of later divorce"
I read an article a long time ago about why living together is not helpful towards establishing a marriage-worthy relationship.
The couple takes inventory of their "stuff".
Because they are not totally sure of the committment - they keep track of "what's mine"
Separate bank accounts - his and her cars.
Someone's bank account is going to be cushier than the other's so there will be resentment if payment of bills is not split evenly.
When there are fights - each one eyes their "mine" inventory of the stuff.
There is less incentive to work through rough patches.
If this couple goes on to get married, they are often entrenched in this "mine" "yours" mentality, and the wedding won't neccessarily cure them of that.
In contrast it is more common for couples who get married before they move in together to consider themselves a team.
They pool their money into joint accounts, and both names appear on them. They pool their stuff together and it becomes "ours". The committment to success is stronger - there is more incentive to work together rather than plan an exit strategy.
This was the gist of the article - it rang true to me as family and friends who lived together seemed to be pretty caught up in keeping track of what money and items they brought into the relationship.
My experience has been decidedly different.