Bruce I (Eric Idle):
Good evening, ladies and bruces!
Bruce II (Michael Palin):
Hello, Bruce.
Bruce I:
G'day, Bruce.
Bruce III (Neil Innes):
How are ya, Bruce.
Bruce I:
How are ya, Bruce.
Bruce II:
What's all this lot, Bruce?
Bruce I:
It's very nice to be here at the Hollywood Bowl this evening! We're all philosophy professors from the University of Woolamaloa, Australia!
All Bruces:
Hey, Australia, Australia, Australia! God love ya!
Bruce I:
I teach Hegelian philosophy, Bruce here teaches Aristotolean philosophy, and Bruce here is in charge of the sheep dip.
Bruce II:
[Cough] Bloody difficult work, I tell ya!
Bruce I:
I'll tell you what, it's thirsty work watching this kind of humor, Bruce. Why don't you just stick out a few of these little free examples from your Esky and leave ----
Bruce II:
What, give these ---- give these Americans our precious cans of ----
[Bruce II throws cans of Fosters from his ice box into the audience.]
Bruce I:
See how awful they are, grasping and go-getting.
Bruce II:
Okay, one over there.
Bruce I:
You can feel morally superior and smug.
Bruce II:
Right, there's one coming right over there. Mind out, charlies! A big one, one big one, there we go!
Bruce I:
All right! Now, the reason we do this, ladies and bruces, is frankly over here we find your American beer is a little like making love in a canoe!
Bruce III:
Making love in a canoe?
Bruce I:
It's f***ing close to water!
LOL