Well... Ah... One thing about age, okie... My jowls are now bigger and looser... so I can do my Nixon impersonation with more authenticity.
In a pig's eye, #2! 
Your rendition of me could not carry Rick Little's jockstrap! Now that I have made that perfectly clear... And that is a visual that will haunt me for years to come! ...Where was I?
Oh... yes... okie, my fellow American, the nation needs to know I was a victim of a great left wing conspiracy! And considering current events... If I should be condemned to hades to be forever up to my neck in boiling horse dung... I go willingly as I know when the time comes, I will be standing on Bill Clinton's shoulders... And he will be standing on Hillary's!