Okay, I spent a few years as a city councilman and later was appointed to a local planning & zoning authority that actually (gasp, shudder)set up an Urban Renewal District that affected a bunch of landowners. (If that makes me a corrupt local pol, maybe somebody can explain why I'm not at least a little richer.)
Because you are inept as well as corrupt, evidently.
I can send you an application, if you like.