Since learning this, I have received the Congressional Medal of Honor, The Croix de Guerre avec Palme, Der Pour le Merité mit Ritterkreuz und Diamant, The Victoria Cross, and the Alpine Life-Saving Gold Collar (normally given to dogs, but I figured, "What the Hell... it helps explain the Purple Hearts.")
Throughout this intense period of Christ-like personal growth, I have maintained my integrity like you wouldn't believe.
I plan on wearing all my medals when I dine with Mr. And Mrs. (Terry) Kerry at their annual Christmas Dinner in Cambodia, which as you know, commemorates that moonless night long ago when John Forbes Kerry and myself, at the direct order of soon-to-be President Dick Nixon, swam naked across the Mekong Delta to capture VietCong sentries for efficient, yet pain-free interrogation.
Thanks for the ping - and here's a bump to the thread.
Good Job!