I never said everyone involved was evil, just the husband... he was spiteful... her put the date of death on her gravestone the date of her collapse to get back at the parents, and did other things to hurt them... very unnecessary to hurt people that were already grieving.
The date is in line with his belief, and in truth, he listed both the date of her collapse and the date of her death. In her case, I think that makes a lot of sense.
Anyone can have a monument made if they wish. We had a falling out with one uncle that caused him to not disclose the burial place of one of my aunts. My grandparents made and placed their own marker in our family plot to remember her by.