An Open Letter to Illegal Immigrants

TownHall.com ^ | 29 January, 2006 | Doug Giles

[Radigan]

If I were a Mexican stuck in Mexico, I, too, would grab a jug of aqua, stuff fistfuls of tortillas into a bandana, then tie that knap sack onto the end of a long stick and start my slog north for the Promised Land.

What would be the rationale for my exodus from Santa Ana land? Well, one big reason is the zero opportunity in Mexico. Mexico’s economic future is about as bright as Leif Garrett’s singing career. I’m talking there is nada for the average José. Look, Vicente Fox can only hire out so many pool boys, chefs, drivers, maids, migrant map makers and mistresses. For the rest of the national workforce . . . well, you’re pretty much SOL: sure-outta-luck.

Eclipsing the economic disaster are two other reasons why, if I were a Mexican living in Mexico, I’d be putting the Sierra Madres in my rearview mirror and heading for Marfa: namely, Telemundo and Univision. Yes, if those were the only two channels I could watch on my black and white Philco after a 16-hour day of picking mangos in exchange for two chickens, I would walk through the desert for hundreds of miles, brave banditos, eat horny toads, drink mud, bake in the sun, swim the Rio Grande, scale the Big Bend mountains and wrestle pumas just to get away from that tacky entertainment and to get here to the States where I could enjoy Fox News and OLN. Therefore, as compassionate conservatives, we’ve got to cut these guys some slack. We, too, would want out of such a dysfunctional banana republic.\

Now, having said that, let me address mi amigos that want to move into our amazing Land-O-Plenty: Would you mind immigrating legally and learning English? Because, you see, our legal citizens are getting increasingly fed up with your criminal relocation dreams. That’s right. Our American buddies on the Arizona, California, New Mexico and Texas borders are especially sick of . . .

• Having their land trashed like a hotel room after Motley Crew spent the weekend there. [One Indian Reservation picks up trash to the tune of six tons a day. Would you please stop that? It’s rude, and it’s threatening the existence of a certain lizard and the Sonoran Pronghorn antelope. Thanks.]

• Having their ranches’ fencing routinely cut and vandalized. • Having to pick up your pill bottles, used needles and syringes. • Having to find the half eaten remains of their pets left from one of your impromptu BBQ’s. • Having their homes burglarized. • Having their daughters raped. • Having their vehicles stolen. • Having their property value plummet. • Having their sedate streets become unsafe requiring their children to be placed under lock and key after sunset. • Having to pick up and discard Muslim prayer rugs and literature strafed about the place. [BTW . . . when did so many Catholic Mexicans convert to Islam? I didn’t get that brief. Would you explain that to me?] • Having the arduous and unpleasant chore of scraping human feces off their front lawns in the morning.

Call us Americans fastidious, but we no likey the aforementioned; and the above is not causing us to take a shining to your desires to resettle here.

Let me help would-be Mexican immigrants understand exactly where we’re coming from. Our nation’s leniency regarding immigration has been used as a night stick to whup our own butt. Our nation’s compassionate openness, plus the corrupt incompetence of the former INS, plus our government’s greed for foreign capital equaled a rolled-out welcome mat for the 9/11 terrorists and other thieves and thugs who looked to use us while they attempted to destroy us. So excuse us, por favor, if we don’t seem too giddy about receiving new guests into our home; we’re still cleaning up after the last ones who tried to destroy the place.

Look, if you want to come here and visit, work or possibly live in the US of A, you must understand that it is a privilege. Be very clear on one fact: it is NOT a right. We don’t have to do anything.

In addition, we want people who dream the American dream [once again, in English], who crave what we crave and who will approach us respectfully, legally and . . . if you don’t mind terribly . . . pardon my redundancy, in English. And get this straight: our demand for a more stringent border has nothing—nothing!—to do with xenophobia. Rather, it is rooted in a love for our country. We like it here. We see it as a privilege and an honor to live here. And we want to make sure that when letting others join us in this privilege and honor, we are rewarding the credible who have waited, not the criminal who has manipulated. So, my advice is to immigrate correctly . . . do it right . . . and if you choose not to—don’t think it unkind if you get tossed on your head right back to where you came from.

[investigateworld]

Same in Cali. In fact they pay their own way via shooting robbers which would ordinarily cost taxpayers $38,000 per annum to house.*

*All figures reflect California prices, YMMV

[ClaireSolt]

Well if Mexico goes Bolitarian al la Chavez, the people with money and sense will flee and the communists will force the poor to stay. We have gotten the upper class Venezuelans here in Florida who came with enough money to buy houses and fuel a boom. Holding the line on amnesty and paths to citizenship will revert the riff raff to Mexico and get us their best and brightest, instead.

[SandRat]

An interesting read

[Molly T.]

AMEN AND AMEN. What a wonderful article. Yes, it would be great if the illegals would, could read this, but I know who else I'd just LOVE to have to sit and read every line of the above article.....President Bush, all his right hand buddies (Rove, in particular), and each and every member of our esteemed Congress....'cause they obviously just don't get where the citizens of this wonderful country, who LOVE her and want to keep her as she is, are coming from. This issue with the borders, especially the southern border, is really a blood pressure raiser and I'll guarantee, Washington had better wake up. If they don't do something and quick, every darned one of them should be kicked out of office. Frankly, I wonder what ever happened to the t word....Aren't all of them sworn to PROTECT AMERICA AND HER CITIZENS?

[dljordan]

So that excuses them from having to apply for legal immigration? There are lots of people, some of them right here on FR, that say the same thing about the Mexicans.

[Sangey]

We should limit immigration to those who will become American Citizens and take up all the responsibilities and duties of being US citizens. Those who show that they cannot or will not need to be sent home.

The others are a drain on our economy and a disruption to the safe running of the state.

Have you seen how many people think Al Pachino's "SCARFACE" is a role model?

I see lots of people working hard to be Americans studying to become citizens learning ENGLISH and taking on those duties and responsibilities. These people leave their countries behind to embrace the USA and all the promise of being part of this great country with all of its freedoms and opportunities. They are not here to sponge off of the USA. They are here to become part of the USA.

Look at the ethnic communities of legal immigrants and you will find we are in favor of border control and stopping the flood of illegal immigration.

This is the difference. Legal immigrants think of themselves as Americans. We are here to stay no matter what. Illegal immigrants are still Mexicans Iraqis Indians whatever who are here until they decide to go home. They are tourists like so many NRI. They should go home.

[F16Fighter]

This is good too:

Let me help would-be Mexican immigrants understand exactly where we’re coming from. Our nation’s leniency regarding immigration has been used as a night stick to whup our own butt. Our nation’s compassionate openness, plus the corrupt incompetence of the former INS, plus our government’s greed for foreign capital equaled a rolled-out welcome mat for the 9/11 terrorists and other thieves and thugs who looked to use us while they attempted to destroy us.

[Gritty]

This article should be required reading for every Federal and State politician and bureaucrat in this entire country. Then they should be required to take a 100 question test (multiple choice is OK). Anybody scoring less than 98% should be immediately fired for cause and thrown out on his/her ear with no pension!

At least we would know they understand us - even if we know they already hear us but are completely ignoring us!

[Oatka]

I don't understand why South Korea rose from the ashes of the Korean Conflict to become an industrial and economic powerhouse...
While Mexico with all its oil wealth and resources remains a piece of dog????

Because all of South of the border countries still have the Conquistador attitude - grab everything in sight and crush those who are weaker than you.

That was the conclusion I came to when a rent-a-rig oil company sent me to Venezuela in the 80s. The gap betwen the haves and have-nots was enormous, as expected, but what got me was that the rich, not content with what they had, always ground down the campesino even further every time they could. No wonder the Communists make such inroads.

[staytrue]

Would you mind immigrating legally and learning English?

Ok fine. Does this mean you let in anyone who speaks english ? If not, then define legal. This article is crap because it says "immigrate legally" and refuses to define what he thinks "legal" is.

Does Legal mean Bush's guest worker program ?

Does legal mean a mexican exclusion law like the chinese exclusion law where if you were chinese, nothing else mattered, you were illegal ?

Does legal mean anyone who is not a criminal and from europe gets in like the early 1900's ?

[staytrue]

Besides that many illegals are also illiterate in their own language.

I agree and will add, Besides that many US citizens are also nearly illiterate in their own language.

[staytrue]

If you're going to have immigrants, they're the kind to have. (koreans)

You have not been on FR very long have you. There is tremendous hostility to H1B's who are not crooks, speak english passably, are hard working, and work in good jobs.

The correct statement is "If you're going to have immigrants, they're the kind to have. (european like me)"

[truthpls]

"This is great! Don't you love it when an article completely conveys exactly what you believe on an issue?"

Yes! I still think it would be cheaper and more effective if the U.S. just gave each Mexican family in Mexico under a certain income, a stipend. I mean mailed to them directly, without the Mexican government involved. Cheaper than army's, fences, border patrol, surveillance systems, helicopters, medical aid, schooling, and all the rest. We send trillions to other poor countries don't we?
Do I think this will ever happen? No. It would be a nice simple solution though. Oh, and then just shoot anyone who tries to come over the border, as they would probably be terrorists, or drug dealers (just kidding).

[janetgreen]

This needs to be translated, printed and air dropped over our "potential guests" to the south.

but, but...Vicente and his gang would claim that we are violating their "human rights", afnamvet... (and sadly, our own President would probably agree)

[Paulus Invictus]

Many of the Koreans in LA got here by claiming oppression in Korea. The they brought their family members in, also legally, but they cling to Korean culture and language. Don't believe it? Go to central LA where you will see only Korean signs on buildings. Are they better citizens than Latinos? Youy bet they are!

[Capriole]

So that excuses them from having to apply for legal immigration?

Absolutely not! Every immigrant should be a legal immigrant. And I'm not in favor of too many immigrants of any nationality, no matter how wonderful their character. Please note the way I phrased my statement: "If you're going to have immigrants, they'e the kind to have."

[kstewskis]

Go to central LA where you will see only Korean signs on buildings.

Years ago two friends and myself drove down Huntington Blvd (I think?) in East LA after playing volleyball at East LA College, looking for something to eat.

I swear, we could not read any of the signs, to even give us a *hint* of something edible. It was as if we were in the middle of a foreign country.

And as you know, with that culture, you kind of have to be careful of what you ask for, LOL.

[janetgreen]

I urge everyone to send this article in its entirety to their Senators, adding your own comments.

There is an important border protection/illegal immigration vote coming up soon, and the Senate will probably try to water down anything that the House passed. Let them know that their jobs are on the line.

[axes_of_weezles]

Just make sure you ask for Bulgogi instead of K-gogi.
Bulgogi=beef
Kgogi=puppy

[kstewskis]

That's what I was afraid of! LOL