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I feel that posters here are piling onto you in ways that are out of line -- I disagree with you, but think you deserve more respect as a military wife.
Personally, I'd point out that the USMCJ item above doesn't say anything about "homosexuals" being bounced from the military -- it focuses exclusively on the actual behavior itself. Arguing about whether "homosexuals" should or shouldn't be in the military cedes a key point to liberals from the get-go -- who says that "homosexual" as a distinct, unique entity actually exist?

The term “sexual orientation” is frequently misused and abused intentionally to cloud arguments against homosexuality. The term “sexual orientation” refers to internal emotions or how some one “feels” toward members of the same sex versus members of the opposite sex. The point is, simply, that no one can know how another person “feels” unless that person overtly expresses, or acts on, those “feelings.”

The terms homosexuality or homosexuality are defined by actions just as are the terms “rapist,” “pedophile,” “bigamist,” etc. In other words, regardless of feelings, without a homosexual act no one is a homosexual.

The UCMJ (which is a code of law, Constitutionally enacted by Congress) prohibits actions not ”feelings”. By long standing interpretation, upheld by courts, if a military member “tells” others that he or she is a “homosexual,” military authorities are entitled to presume that the “confessor” has “acted,” or will “act,” on his or her “confession.” Therefore, it is legally permissible for military authorities to take actions that exclude from the military a person confessing to being “homosexual.” In contrast, under the UCMJ, military officials are justified in taking court martial actions against a military member against whom evidence exists that he or she has engaged in homosexual acts.

Maintaining “good order and discipline” is essential to the effectiveness, and even battlefield survival, of any military unit. Such a goal is sole purpose of the UCMJ. To advocate official disregard of “good order and discipline” through willfully refusing to enforce the provisions of the UCMJ is to advocate the destruction of military effectiveness and individual military members’ safety.

I hope this little exposition has clarified the situation for you.