Posted on 01/23/2006 2:18:04 PM PST by firehat
IMHO (in my humble opinion) … and other SCOFFING ©
by Norman Liebmann
In my humble opinion, it’s Mayor Ray Nagan’s not-so-secret ambition to make New Orleans into the Sudan of the South. Where is General Kitchener’s Army when we really need them? Nagan has since apologized for his racist statement – which is damned white of him.
In my humble opinion, the film Broke Back Mountain has raised the question of whether it is legal to yell “Puke!” in a crowded theater. Winning the Golden Globes may be the nearest thing these cowboy stars will ever come to having real balls.
In my humble opinion, the Democrats turned San Francisco into Sodom with cable cars.
In my humble opinion, Liberals claim they can function on Earth without God’s direction - inasmuch as they are here without his invitation.
In my humble opinion, if we annihilate everyone in Islam the odds are Osama bin Laden will be among them – and if he isn’t, so what?
In my humble opinion, if gay cowboys get their legs caught in the stirrups, they will need a gynecologist to get them out.
In my humble opinion, if Stephen Spielberg made the movie Jaws today (judging from his sympathetic portrayal of the Arab murderers in his film “Munich”) the shark would have been portrayed as a loving father and husband who were just trying to enjoy a day at the beach.
In my humble opinion, Teddy Kennedy would be in prison if there was a technique for lifting fingerprints off water.
In my humble opinion, if the Judges in Vermont have their way, child molesters in prison will be served with eviction notices.
In my humble opinion, homosexuality is depravity. Lesbianism is entertainment.
In my humble opinion, Maureen Dowd is an ideal Poster Girl for Menstrual Cramps.
In my humble opinion, Palestinians cannot be going hungry these days as represented. On the Gaza Strip dynamite suicide belts are now available in a Portly.
In my humble opinion, never order Italian food in Paris. French chefs don’t cook spaghetti. They just try to humiliate it.
In my humble opinion, the ambience of Berkeley is currently somewhere between a Palm Springs bathhouse and Rasputin’s rumpus room.
In my humble opinion, people become college professors because, among the sophomoric, their immaturity is camouflaged.
In my humble opinion, The Weekly Standard and National Review are the resident eulogizers for the death of conservatism.
In my humble opinion, the good news from Iraq is that Uday and Qusay are still dead.
In my humble opinion, the United Nations continues to improve the world into the dumper.
In my humble opinion, Hollywood is Jurassic Park with agents.
In my humble opinion, celebrities try to create the impression that they are the only people in America getting laid, perhaps because they are the only people in America whose careers depend on it.
In my humble opinion, neither George Bush nor the illegal aliens like the element of vigilance in vigilantes.
In my humble opinion, Al Franken will not need a grave in which to be interred. A divot will do.
In my humble opinion, it’s time to get the criminals off the streets and back into the Inner Cities where they belong.
In my humble opinion, atheists and Democrats have no one to turn to but each other. That is the ultimate in alienation.
In my humble opinion, apathy is a state of mind cultured by the Swiss as neutrality and perfected by the French as cringing.
In my humble opinion, don’t ask why but Democrats seem to believe the way to eliminate dependency is to consolidate it.
In my humble opinion, the bureaucrats’ primary function is to tell you precisely what they are paid to do can’t be done.
In my humble opinion, the mainstream media’s mission is not to inform, but to agitate and disappoint. The substance of what the Los Angeles Times prints today only confirms the misinformation it obtained from watching television yesterday.
In my humble opinion, the Democrats don’t acknowledge the line that divides reasonableness from cowardice.
In my humble opinion, the last people named Jones to show a proper contempt for villains were John Paul and Paula Corbin.
In my humble opinion, we’ve heard too much of this cant about democracy being untidy. But as with Democrats - better untidy than disloyal.
In my humble opinion, if John Kerry had a little more courage, he could have been a crossing guard on the Ho Chi Minh Trail.
In my humble opinion, compassion is an emotional anvil that must be dragged across minefields to see if the troops can survive with a handicap.
In my humble opinion, after Clinton, one would think there would be nobody left to crap in the America he hasn’t already over-crapped.
In my humble opinion, lawyers are never more sincere than when they are being insincere.
In my humble opinion, any hall in which Bill Clinton speaks is immediately converted from an auditorium to a vomitorium.
In my humble opinion, Colin Powell wore the uniform of the Army and the striped pants and swallowtail coat of the diplomat. In both cases he was appropriately dressed for failure. Powell’s retirement ended a career of whopping irrelevance.
In my humble opinion, adding compassion to the War on Terror produces not victory, but swamp.
In my humble opinion, the end for America will come as a result of succumbing to the politically correct notion that we should be embarrassed to death by our strength.
In my humble opinion, talcum power has been removed from the dressing rooms to keep the athletes from snorting it before the game.
In my humble opinion, now that Harvard is so steeped in Affirmative Action, it should change the name of its famous campus location to Hip Hop Yard.
In my humble opinion, driving Jim Jeffords out of the Republican Party was not as contemptible as keeping Trent Lott in.
In my humble opinion, Liberalism is not a philosophy – it’s a fungus.
In my humble opinion, lately Bill O’Reilly seems to demonstrate that he can achieve fairness and balance by becoming progressively mild. Now when O'Reilly interviews a journalistic colleague, he segues from a rottweiller to a spaniel.
In my humble opinion, Moslems are the pariah and Islam is the pestilence.
In my humble opinion, fear and conceit are the mainstream media’s most motivating elements and all that holds informational bias in its present constellation.
In my humble opinion, contrary to what Hillary Clinton says, Congress is not a plantation. The Democrats turned it into a second balcony of the Apollo Theater. (Apparently Hillary was influenced by that incomprehensible patois that Jesse Jackson mumbles called “plantation-speak”).
In my humble opinion, it’s time to get to work on a new mega-bomb called the Mosque Buster.
In my humble opinion, slavery kept people on the job who would otherwise have been unemployable.
In my humble opinion, David Letterman’s monologues are about as much fun as watching an orphanage burn to the ground.
In my humble opinion, hopefully the NEA will eventually collapse under the weight of the illiteracy it propagated.
In my humble opinion, it should be apparent that nuking Islam will make many of the disturbances that beleaguer the world academic.
***
Welcome home, Firehat! :-)
Good to see you 'round these parts, Norm.
Heading out the door now, so I'll read this later.
Firehat BTT. I especially liked the point about celebrities acting as if they're the only people in the country getting laid. Some act as well as if they're the only ones in the country who think. In either case they're so wrong it's embarrassing.
Another Great one....
Love Ya Norm !!!
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