18 Ways To Be A Good Liberal.......
> 1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
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> 2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.
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> 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
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> 4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
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> 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
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> 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
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> 7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus ! is spread by a lack of federal funding.
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> 8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
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> 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
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> 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
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> 11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.
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> 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
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> 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
> 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
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> 15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
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> 16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
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> 17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying transvestites in drag should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
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> 18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy
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Talk about cognitive dissonance! No wonder liberals are so miserable. It must be exhausting, depressing work to keep all those opposing ideas from crashing into each other.