She at first suggested counseling, with a Christian Counselor. I agreed and went. When I told her that I think I can work with the guy she claimed that we had conspired against her. Never mind she choose him, had the first solo session with him and it was our first meeting.
She then suggested that we seperate so she could have a little space to clear her mind. Telling her that action would be the beginning of the end, she said that it wouldn't, she would need 30-60 days and that I thought I knew everything. Stupidly, I found a place to stay. She never looked back.
After six months, I started pushing her to initiate whatever action she was going to take. I was living very frugally and still depositing my paycheck into our common account. I existed on about $50 per week, including food and shelter. She decided she was in no hurry, because this income windfall was helping her to pay the bills. She also started hiding money because her "friends" had convinced her that I was doing the same. I wasn't. She had access to all accounts, got all the mail and could monitor all transactions I had initiated in any account. But they convinced her, so she began doing it to me. BTW, these were all "Christians" who were in her support group.
We met for dinner one evening and discussed the final divy of assets. She began to waver, so she called her friend who advised that she had "made it this far so why give in. He's only manipulating you."
Let me tell you, it hurt like hell to go through it.
I was lucky. I worked with a lady who was divorced for 25 years, was a serious lady of the lord and was always friendly to me. We met for dinner one night and it went on from there. We married shortly thereafter.
Is everything perfect? No. But it is much, much better than the first one that I fought with everything I had to keep. This one thinks the world of me, wants me to lead our family and wants us to work for the common good of our family. In return, I've promised never to treat her as a doormat and to love her in return. In over three years of marriage, we've never had a serious dust up. We are fortunate.
End to a long story, sometimes there are happy endings. Yours may come to that.
I'm sorry for what you went through. I am glad to hear however, that it did work out for you in the end. God Bless.
Thanks for the personal info, I am divorced with joint custody of our 10 yr old daughter. She is worth it all. I am in no hurry to find anyone, but have faith that one day she will appear when the time is right. Right now I only have time for my daughter as her mom has always been a trifle selfish. So I make sure she has clothes, does her homework etc.....
It's good to hear a happy ending...