[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

***I've found the scent which best attracts women is the odor of the "One Karat Diamond..."***

Too many Playboy cartoons jump into my mind!
A beautiful girl wears a big diamond and says to her friend
"This is the famous HOPE diamond!:" then pointing to an ugly short man, "And this is the curse that goes with it!"

Or
A short bald fat man sets at a bar talking to a sweet young thing He says, " I'm not really this tall. I'm setting on my wallet!"

[Snardius]

A short bald fat man sets at a bar...

Hey, why does it always have to he a short, fat, BALD man?

[buckman10_2000]

no deordorant? yep,that would repel me

[headstamp]

From "Diamonds are Forever";


PO- "I'm Plenty."

Bond- "But of course you are"

PO- "Plenty O' Toole"

Bond- "Named after your father perhaps"

[perfect stranger]

Some comic said that the new DeBeer's slogan is, "Diamonds-Render her speechless".
He added, "Why don't they just come on out and say it? "Diamonds- That'll shut her up."

[Matchett-PI]

"A beautiful girl wears a big diamond and says to her friend "This is the famous HOPE diamond!:" then pointing to an ugly short man, "And this is the curse that goes with it!" --- Or ---A short bald fat man sets at a bar talking to a sweet young thing He says, " I'm not really this tall. I'm setting on my wallet!"

[connectthedots]

A few few years ago, a speaker who was bald remarked that he wasn't wasting his testosterone growing hair. I replied, "Some of us have plenty to spare."