[Excuse_My_Bellicosity]

I got married last June. I've got co-workers that promise me that within 5 years I'll be living just like them. That is, my wife will get everything she wants and I will not have any say in anything because it's easier to put up with zero say on anything in the household or relationsip than it is to have a wife who is constantly bitchy and finding new ways to take it out on you. No way, I'll get out before that no matter what it costs me in dollars.

It just amazes me how many people are in a marriage where one spouse treats the other like total garbage, and they take it and like it! What a worthless existence.

[The Coopster]

Don't listen to your friends.

I'm coming up on 11 years, and while there are many aspects of being married that doesn't fit into the fairy-tale ideas that you had when you were engaged - it still beats dating, hands down. And regardless of what the more jaded folks on here may say, there is nothing like growing old with/sharing your life with another.

Good luck!

[gopheraj]

Don't believe your co-workers if you want a long marriage. We've been married 38 years (and 1 month) and are not like that at all. I would never treat my husband like that. Everything is talked over - especially spending anything over $100. Way too many marriages fail because of the "me first" thinking. Sometimes you have to give more that 50% - sometimes you get more than 50%. I would not have (marry) any other man than the one I married (at 17). After he's gone, I will have me a good looking hunky brainless pool boy. LOLLL

[processing please hold]

If a husband let's the wife make all the decisions at home...he's never wrong and can't be blamed for a mistake she made.

[HairOfTheDog]

I got married last June. I've got co-workers that promise me that within 5 years I'll be living just like them. That is, my wife will get everything she wants and I will not have any say in anything because it's easier to put up with zero say on anything in the household or relationsip than it is to have a wife who is constantly bitchy and finding new ways to take it out on you. No way, I'll get out before that no matter what it costs me in dollars.

Relationships like that aren't good for either party. Power corrupts absolutely, and no one in a good marriage should feel they can get away with selfishness, meanness or disrespect.

[Westlander]

Welcome to the crowd.

[Conservative Goddess]

Before you do end up like your friends....may I suggest a book/CD? Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans: http://store.marriagetoday.org/product.php?productid=16177&cat=0&page=1 No, I don't get a cut.

It is a biblical restatement of the Mars/Venus thing....explains in plain, clear, understandable English that men and women have different needs....and the best way to make sure your needs are taken care of is to make sure that your spouses needs are taken care of first. That does not equate to a husband allowing himself to be, um, let's just say subjugated and it does not mean that the wife should be subjugated either.

When a woman's emotional needs are not met, that deficiency can come out in multiple ways...and it's never pretty. The emotional needs of a woman are least understood and often overlooked, belittled and ignored. A man who doesn't take the time to understand this need is in for a rough ride. My best to you....and may you enjoy a long and happy marriage.

[chris1]

The cost of divorce is too high for most men. They just put up with it instead.

[RockinRight]

This thread is making me feel MUCH better about the fact that I am 28, unmarried, and can't even find a woman I want to marry, while all my friends ARE married. I can't say whether or not their wives are like this or not though, they don't seem to be, but they've all been married less than 4 years except one.