I am not a violent person
FF: Oh come now... you asked for a HAMMER! lol
I want a lightsaber. Pretty colors, soothing humming noise once it's been turned on, and when it cuts through flesh, the wound instantly cauterizes, so there is no dripping of blood. Perfect for the environmental wackos. Plus, the power cell lasts for a long time, so no need to buy tons of batteries (again, kowtowing to the envirowackos).