Posted on 01/09/2006 7:43:57 AM PST by NautiNurse
Engaging Pet Story Helps Kids Understand How Government Works
snip
"I am very excited about the opportunity to create a book for young readers and their families that will deepen their understanding of how our American government works," said Senator Edward M. Kennedy. "Reading is a lifelong adventure, and I hope that this book will spark an interest in young people to learn more about their government and to explore the joy of books."
My Senator and Me: A Dog's-Eye View of Washington, D.C. tells the story of Senator Kennedy and his dog, Champion Amigo's Seventh Wave (nicknamed "Splash" by his original owner) and a day in their life in the Senate. A Portuguese Water Dog, Splash is always at Senator Kennedy's side - in his office, at press conferences, in meetings at the Capitol and even right outside the Senate chamber. Told from Splash's point of view, this charming picture book not only takes readers through a full day in the Senator's life, but also explains how a bill becomes a law. My Senator and Me also includes biographies of Senator Kennedy and Splash.
(Excerpt) Read more at biz.yahoo.com ...
wear your waterwings
Oh my goodness, Kennedy wrote this book just like Byrd writes all of his speeches. Someone wrote the book Kennedy has his name on as author.
The article indicates he will be donating the net profits. Sounds like he's taking a chunk of change up front to use for Happy Hour.
No, there's a routine about Uncle so-and-so's children books... They turn horrificly lewd, and the reader/narrator's face blanches, and he moves on to the next, but one is as bad as the other.
I remember reading (don't laugh) a 'High Times' magazine back in the early '70s when I was at college and it had a story called, "I was Ted Kennedy's Dealer". This was about the second or third issue of 'High Times' ever published. According to this "dealer"/author, he had provided LSD for the partiers the night of the accident and Ted Kennedy was tripping hard, and that is why he waited 11 hours (or however long) to make himself available to the police - - it took him that long to "come down". (Note: I can tell you from long-ago experience that this makes sense.)
Now, I was only about 18 when I read this story but it was amazing how everything seemed to fit. I have no idea about the veracity of the source for the story and I never heard another word about "Ted Kennedy's dealer", but I also know that the Kennedys have ways of making people go away, usually with a mixture of threats and financial incentive. LMAO, I remember that at the time I was sure this story, which was very convincing to me, would make national headlines! Ri i i ight.
I thought his dog's name was FatDrunk that Killed MaryJo.
Kennedy, jealous of all the attention Tookie got before his "oh so sad" ( for liberals) death, couldn't resist... "Why not me, me ME, MEEEEEEE..." ? He screamed. Where's all the folks protesting for me? I killed tooo"!! Whaaaa Whaaaa...
As featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 3
Not only did this sketch appear in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 3, it was also performed on their Album - Monty Python's Flying Circus'.
The sketch: (Sketch opens with five seconds of Gilliam animation. To gentle children's music, we see bunnies jumping up and down. Cut to children's storyteller in studio.) Storyteller: (sitting with large children's book, at desk) Hello, Children, hello. Here is this morning's story. Are you ready? Then we'll begin. (opens book; reads) 'One day Ricky the magic Pixie went to visit Daisy Bumble in her tumbledown cottage. He found her in the bedroom. Roughly he gabbed her heavy shoulders pulling her down on to the bed and ripping off her...; (reads silently, turns over page quickly, smiles) 'Old Nick the Sea Captain was a rough tough jolly sort of fellow. He loved the life of the sea and he loved to hang out down by the pier where the men dressed as ladies...' (reads on silently; a stick enters vision and pokes him; he starts and turns over page) 'Rumpletweezer ran the Dinky Tinky shop in the foot of the magic oak tree by the wobbly dumdum bush in the shade of the magic glade down in Dingly Dell. Here he sold contraceptives and ·.. discipline?... naked? ... (without looking up, reads a bit; then, incredulously to himself) With a melon!?
Bingo! That's the one I meant! Give the man a Crunchy Frog... or a Spring Surprise!
Bingo! That's the one I meant! Give the man a Crunchy Frog... or a Spring Surprise!
Inspector Praline: (to camera) Hello. (he walks in followed by Superintendent Parrot and goes to desk) Mr Milton? You are sole proprietor and owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company?
Milton: I am.
Praline: Superintendent Parrot and I are from the hygiene squad. We want to have a word with you about your box of chocolates entified The Whizzo Quality Assortment.
Milton: Ah, yes.
Praline: (producing box of chocolates) If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the cherry fondue. This is extremely nasty, but we can't prosecute you for that.
Milton: Agreed.
Praline: Next we have number four, 'crunchy frog'.
Milton: Ah, yes.
Praline: Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in here?
Milton: Yes. A little one.
Praline: What sort of frog?
Milton: A dead frog.
Praline: Is it cooked?
Milton: No.
Praline: What, a raw frog?
(Superintendent Parrot looks increasingly queasy.)
Milton: We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose.
Praline: That's as maybe, it's still a frog.
Milton: What else?
Praline: Well don't you even take the bones out?
Milton: If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy would it?
Praline: Superintendent Parrot ate one of those.
Parrot: Excuse me a moment. (exits hurriedly)
Milton: It says 'crunchy frog' quite clearly.
Praline: Well, the superintendent thought it was an almond whirl. People won't expect there to be a frog in there. They're bound to think it's some form of mock frog.
Milton: (insulted) Mock frog? We use no artificial preservatives or additives of any kind!
Praline: Nevertheless, I must warn you that in future you should delete the words 'crunchy frog', and replace them with the legend 'crunchy raw unboned real dead frog', if you want to avoid prosecution.
Milton: What about our sales?
Praline: I'm not interested in your sales, I have to protect the general public. Now how about this one. (superintendent enters) It was number five, wasn't it? (superintendent nods) Number five, ram's bladder cup. (exit superintendent) What kind of confection is this?
Milton: We use choicest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish ram's bladder, emptied, steamed, flavoured with sesame seeds whipped into a fondue and garnished with lark's vomit.
Praline: Lark's vomit?
Milton: Correct.
Praline: Well it don't say nothing about that here.
Milton: Oh yes it does, on the bottom of the box, after monosodium glutamate.
Praline: (looking) Well I hardly think this is good enough. I think it would be more appropriate if the box bore a large red label warning lark's vomit.
Milton: Our sales would plummet.
Praline: Well why don't you move into more conventional areas of confectionery, like praline or lime cream; a very popular flavour I'm led to understand. (superintendent enters) I mean look at this one, 'cockroach cluster', (superintendent exits) 'anthrax ripple'. What's this one, 'spring surprise'?
Milton: Ah - now, that's our speciality - covered with darkest creamy chocolate. When you pop it in your mouth steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through-both cheeks.
Praline: Well where's the pleasure in that? If people place a nice chocky in their mouth, they don't want their cheeks pierced. In any case this is an inadequate description of the sweetmeat. I shall have to ask you to accompany me to the station.
Milton: (getting up from desk and being led away) It's a fair cop.
Praline: Stop talking to the camera.
Milton: I'm sorry.
(Superintendent Parrot enters the room as Inspector Praline and Milton leave, and addresses the camera.)
Parrot: If only the general public would take more care when buying its sweeties, it would reduce the number of man-hours lost to the nation and they would spend less time having their stomachs pumped and sitting around in public lavatories.
Announcer: The BBC would like to apologize for the extremely poor quality of the next announcement, only he's not at all well.
Parrot: We present 'The Dull Life of a City Stockbroker'.
Will I see you at CPAC in Feb?
Oh, I guess that explains that new Hollywierd "Free Teddy" demonstration outside of San Quenton.
You know it could be the case - I suppose anything is possible. One thing I've often wondered about is how did Teddy get across the water to Edgartown? If I remember correctly he claims to have swum from Chappy to Edgartown where he holed up in the hotel - somehow for me that story does not, um, hold water, and I always wondered how it really went down.
I don't think so. I have no vacation time yet. I do plan to make CPAC 2007, though.
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