Solution to all of Canada's problems:
1. Invade Quebec. Since there is no army to invade Quebec, collect 30 or 40,000 drunken Leaf's fans, give them wiffleball bats and send them in against the Quebecois. Preditction: the wanna-be French will surrender within 24 hours.
2. Saw Newfoundland off the continent and let it drift until it collides with Greenland. Let the Danes continue to support the outrageous welfare state.
3. Rescind the silly "First Nation" status afforded to the indians. They are, after all, members of a thoroughly defeated race and culture who should be thanking whatever they hold holy that unlike past conquerers, Western-liberal societies do not engage in the genocide of their enemies. If they continue to want to live above the Acrtic Circle subsisting on Seal blubber, that's their business, it shouldn't be subsidized by the government.
4. Admit National Health does not work. Throw healthcare open to the free market. You know, where people actually have a stake in the providision of good care because it directly affects profits? That way, no one else will die of bird flu after getting off an airplane from China because of silly government regulations about the "insensitive" quarentine of a minority.
5. Have Alberta, Saskatchewan (sp?), and Ontario apply for US statehood. British Columbia can be admitted to the US as a national park, once it has been thoroughly cleansed of hippies. Prince Edward Island is a harder call. Perhaps they should finally be granted their independance and they can merge with the defeated Quebecois to form the Republic of Loserstan.
6. Bring NHL hockey back to Winnipeg.
Just a few ideas from an American who happens to like Canada.
Now the idea of the Winnipeg Jets appeals to me.
Best idea I have heard in a long time.