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Nothing, and I mean nothing (apart from maybe the Highlander Games and kilts) is gayer than "lining up behind center" and "taking the snap" in American football. Sorry.

You've obviously never seen a wrestling match.

Look, these are the sports:

Basketball
Baseball
Football (American)

Hockey (Even though Hockey is soccer on ice, I would call it a sport because people get their teeth knocked out and they beat the snot out of anyone who wrongs them. They are heterosexual soccer players who have the balls to slide around on ice)

Those are the only sports. Everything else is a game, past time, or hobby.

Except for soccer.

Soccer is a cry for help.