Have you read "April, 1865"? God, what this country owes to Grant, Lee, Sherman and Johnston. Among them they made the peace. I can see how bad it might have been by looking at the history of Reconstruction.
My favorite Civil War/reconstruction book is Lincoln at Gettysburg.
Here's a theory I have -- could it be that movies, pop culture have set us up to want/demand "perfect" people for our heroes when no perfect people exist (except, of course, for myself).