"You Canadian Bastards!"
Posted on 12/31/2005 11:02:13 AM PST by doc30
They'd take Halifax (then we'd kill Kenny)
By SHAWN MCCARTHY Saturday, December 31, 2005 Posted at 10:00 AM EST From Saturday's Globe and Mail
NEW YORK — We called their President a moron, and they called us the "retarded cousin." Their ambassador warned about the repercussions of aggressive rhetoric, and our Prime Minister aggressively asserted we will not be "dictated to."
In another age -- or in a Marx Brothers movie -- the escalation of insults and diplomatic contretemps could lead to only one thing: "Of course you know," Groucho famously intoned, "this means war."
It was one of a series of such contingency plans produced in the late 1920s. Canada, identified as Crimson, would be invaded to prevent the Britons from using it as a staging ground to attack the United States.
But having successfully captured Canada, the military planners had no intention of giving it up. "Blue [the Americans'] intentions are to hold in perpetuity all CRIMSON and RED territory gained," they wrote in an appendix.
The plan was withdrawn in 1939, declassified in 1974 and had gone largely unnoticed in a grey box at the National Archives until The Post, echoing the call-to-arms one hears from the drum-bangers at Fox News and elsewhere, resuscitated it under the headline, "Raiding the icebox."
The Post writer helpfully noted the presence of a potential fifth column in the Americans' midst, and chortled at the prospect of Celine Dion and Mike Myers being carted off to Guantanamo Bay in orange jumpsuits.
Canadian officials, predictably, refused to take seriously the report of a 75-year-old U.S. invasion plan.
"We found it amusing, and we'll just have to make sure that our plans are up to date as well," laughed Jasmine Panthaky, a spokeswoman for the Canadian embassy in Washington.
"From time to time, this thing does come up. I guess it's one of those curiosities in the relationship, given that we've been in the news a fair bit. . . . This is just a question of something that has resonance at a time when Canada is receiving its 15 minutes of fame."
Clearly, there are some U.S. radar screens you'd rather not be on.
Having once promised to repair a strained relationship, Prime Minister Paul Martin has apparently decided that an election campaign is a good time to chide the Bush administration for its failings. The U.S. ambassador to Canada, David Wilkins, responded in kind, urging the Prime Minister to cool the rhetoric or face repercussions -- a message to which Mr. Martin responded like a big-league slugger hitting a batting-practice lob over the fence.
The professional stirrers of strife on U.S. cable channels briefly focused on Canada and didn't like want they saw. MSNBC's Tucker Carlson said that all the intelligent Canadians had long since moved to New York and likened the country to a "retarded cousin." On Fox News, where embattled anger is the abiding emotion, talk show host Neil Cavuto said Canadians had "gotten too big for their britches" and may soon be an enemy of the United States.
Which brings us back to that 1930s-era invasion plan.
It starts with a seaborne assault on Halifax to cut Canada off from its British ally. A later version, approved in 1935, allowed for first-strike use of poison gas and strategic bombing of the city, if necessary.
It also posits that the U.S. invading forces take out Niagara Falls, seize Sudbury's strategic nickel mines, capture Winnipeg as the critical east-west rail juncture and attack Vancouver to deprive the British of a West Coast maritime base.
The 94-page document is rather long on geographic information -- important ports, main industries, transportation links -- and on published assessments of Canadian military strength. But it is rather skimpy on tactical details of a theoretical invasion.
Canada had its own plan, written nine years earlier, to counter a U.S. attack by invading the northern United States.
Likely, few Americans have spent time worrying about a Canadian invasion, other than in comedy clubs.
But the existence of War Plan - Red fed the imaginations of those Canadians who worried about the world's longest undefended border.
They believed that the Americans had always had a covetous view of their resource-rich country, and that the United States was always poised to invade if the opportunity arose.
The chief proponent of the invasion theorists is Floyd Rudmin, a U.S.-born, former Queen's University social psychology professor who has since decamped to the University of Tromso in Norway.
In the early 1990s, Prof. Rudmin wrote several articles -- much amplified in the Toronto Star -- on the U.S. expansion of Fort Drum in northern New York, arguing that the Americans were preparing to intervene if Canada experienced serious instability as a result of a Quebec secessionist movement.
Prof. Rudmin was critical of what he dubbed "the blind eye perspective" that Canadians maintained toward what he saw as obvious U.S. hostility toward its northern neighbour.
But as The Post noted, Canadians can probably relax for the foreseeable future, despite the bluster from the pundits. The U.S. military is otherwise occupied at the moment. Or are they just practising?
Battle plans
U.S. Joint Army and Navy
Basic War Plan -- Red
Key strategies
Capture Halifax to block British reinforcements
Seize key Winnipeg rail junction
Cut power by assault on Niagara Falls
March from Michigan to Sudbury nickel mines
Blockade both coasts
Use secret airbases to control airspace over Ontario
Victory
U.S. annexes captured territory
Canadian Defence
Scheme No. 1
Key strategies
Pre-emptive strikes from sea to sea
On word of U.S. invasion plan, Canadian forces would move to capture Spokane, Great Falls, Minneapolis, Buffalo, Albany and parts of Maine.
In face of U.S. counterattack, Canadian forces would retreat, blowing up bridges and railways, buying time until reinforcements from Britain could arrive.
Victory
Canada keeps Alaska
Perhaps as a public service to their side, The Washington Post yesterday dusted off a 75-year-old U.S. plan to invade Canada, offering it as a contrast to the situation in Iraq, where, it suggested, there was no plan.
First approved in 1930, Joint Army and Navy Basic War Plan - Red was drawn up to defend the United States in the event of war with Britain.
As to the question "Has Canadian-American relations reached a new low?" , first of all, it should be "have," not has.
Second, Canada isn't a country. It's a polyglot of those who didn't have the courage to throw off the yolk of old Europe when we did, or those (mostly in the west) who were too far away for it to be an issue. The so called nation of Canada didn't act to free itself until old Europe's control fell away of its own accord because it was too weak after WE had beaten it down to no longer be a threat in at least two wars. Then they "rose up" and threw off the yolk of their masters... in the 1960s. Oh, goody.
Americans trace many of their ideas and ideals to European roots (but by no mean exclusively), but have rejected the remainder of that effete and failed culture. Ben Franklin is quoted as saying "“We’ve spawned a new race here... Rougher, simpler, more violent, more enterprising, less refined. We’re a new nationality." We are proud of that distinction for it rejects the European grotesque of the day which still holds true that they are somehow "civilized" and all others are "barbarians." Many of those who "proudly" call themselves "Canadians" are euroweenies of the first order and should promptly return to their homes in Europe, relinquishing the lands that they stole from their betters, and leave the continent to those fit to inhabit it.
(oh, am I going to get flamed for that hyperbole!)
To those justifiably proud Canadians who share equal contempt for the Ottawa liberals I sincerely apologize if this has in any way offended you. That was explicitly NOT my intent. You are who you are, and the central government has both little to do with that and even more contempt for you than they do us neighbors to the south.
By the way, to Canadians who might be offended by this post, I'm a big fan of Oliver Wiswell, so read that before you comment...
http://www.bivouacbooks.com/bbv2i3s6.htm
The Irish Invasion of Canada
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a Fenian flag in the Bflo & Erie County Historical Society.
Its fragile condition precludes display. A B&W picture is on display at the National Museum of Ireland.
Kill Kenny? Kill Kenny? Why you ignorant Canukistani's! Do you realize how many bored, heavily armed shooters there are down here in Colorado? Thousands! Besides, you'd get mugged by the illegals long before you reached South Park. Kill Kenny indeed!
"You Canadian Bastards!"
I'm not for an outright invasion Canada because that would mean having to assimilate all those loonies. Best to just do what we do and ignore them. If they wan't to play with us then they'll just have to shape up.
You mean Liberal Democrats are the only people who shop at Walmart?
Huh? Where the hell did that come from??
Our kids play tough hockey and my guess is they don't give politics
or international issues any thought.
Sounds like y'all a bit paranoid, dude.
Go get a bottle of beer and chill out, eh?
Excellent observation...
It seems to me that the Yankees may be more clever and devious
than we suspected. My guess is that the American invasion plan involved
several additional phases yet to be made public.
The Yanks knew Canada to be a Nation of tough folks, Lumberjacks,
oil men, farmers, hunters, fishermen.
There was no way they would want their milk-and-toast sissy boys go up against
the killers of seal pups.
So they devised a clever plan which included overwhelming Canada with
American Liberal culture beginning with Hollywood movies, pop music and
flooding our TV channel with all the American networks (ABC, NBC,
CBS, CNN, etal) knowing full well that the Ophrafication of Canada
would lead to the kind of mamby-pamby socialized do-gooder society
Canada has become which of course leads to voluntarily
disarming ourselves of objects which may inflict harm on others.
My guess is that the plan call for invasion once Canadians voluntarily give
up their Hockey sticks.
The military likes writing contingency plans. It gives officers something to do to occupy their time between real work
We just like to fantasize about being the new Mongol hordes. The US's problem is that our troops don't get to pillage enough
I'm sure we still have bombing charts programmed and E&E plans in place for every major city on the globe.
Happy New Year!
5.56mm
"Of course you know," Groucho famously intoned, "this means war."
I love that movie!
It is not your kids who play hockey but their parents who are cowardly. The kids just follow directions from their coaches and parents. The same adults who will be wetting their pants at the sight of a real threat.
When the Liberals are victorious in the next election, they will use any excuse to try to hurt the USA. In doing so, the Canadians will only hurt themselves. The support of the USA is the only reason why your poor excuse for a country still exists.
Except it is not news.
It is the Globe and Mail and the Washington Post going to bat for Liberals during the most important Canadian election in years.
It will be interesting to see if the Liberal press in Canada can hold it together for the left wingers this time around.
The anti-American left has power and control in Canada and they play with a very heavy hand.
Never mind that it is illogical to disarm your own citizens when there are imminent threats from the USA, this fear mongering pays off for the left wingers all the time.
Conservatives in Canada need to watch their backs this next month.
Freepers Unite.
Free Canada!
Call the Globes and the Posts bluff on another obvious attempt to manipulate the voters in Canada.
We should be prepared as there will be endless amounts of Liberal propaganda in the Canadian "news" this month.
It began when Time started to outsell MacCleans. Then there was no turning back.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.