Posted on 12/31/2005 11:02:13 AM PST by doc30
They'd take Halifax (then we'd kill Kenny)
By SHAWN MCCARTHY Saturday, December 31, 2005 Posted at 10:00 AM EST From Saturday's Globe and Mail
NEW YORK — We called their President a moron, and they called us the "retarded cousin." Their ambassador warned about the repercussions of aggressive rhetoric, and our Prime Minister aggressively asserted we will not be "dictated to."
In another age -- or in a Marx Brothers movie -- the escalation of insults and diplomatic contretemps could lead to only one thing: "Of course you know," Groucho famously intoned, "this means war."
It was one of a series of such contingency plans produced in the late 1920s. Canada, identified as Crimson, would be invaded to prevent the Britons from using it as a staging ground to attack the United States.
But having successfully captured Canada, the military planners had no intention of giving it up. "Blue [the Americans'] intentions are to hold in perpetuity all CRIMSON and RED territory gained," they wrote in an appendix.
The plan was withdrawn in 1939, declassified in 1974 and had gone largely unnoticed in a grey box at the National Archives until The Post, echoing the call-to-arms one hears from the drum-bangers at Fox News and elsewhere, resuscitated it under the headline, "Raiding the icebox."
The Post writer helpfully noted the presence of a potential fifth column in the Americans' midst, and chortled at the prospect of Celine Dion and Mike Myers being carted off to Guantanamo Bay in orange jumpsuits.
Canadian officials, predictably, refused to take seriously the report of a 75-year-old U.S. invasion plan.
"We found it amusing, and we'll just have to make sure that our plans are up to date as well," laughed Jasmine Panthaky, a spokeswoman for the Canadian embassy in Washington.
"From time to time, this thing does come up. I guess it's one of those curiosities in the relationship, given that we've been in the news a fair bit. . . . This is just a question of something that has resonance at a time when Canada is receiving its 15 minutes of fame."
Clearly, there are some U.S. radar screens you'd rather not be on.
Having once promised to repair a strained relationship, Prime Minister Paul Martin has apparently decided that an election campaign is a good time to chide the Bush administration for its failings. The U.S. ambassador to Canada, David Wilkins, responded in kind, urging the Prime Minister to cool the rhetoric or face repercussions -- a message to which Mr. Martin responded like a big-league slugger hitting a batting-practice lob over the fence.
The professional stirrers of strife on U.S. cable channels briefly focused on Canada and didn't like want they saw. MSNBC's Tucker Carlson said that all the intelligent Canadians had long since moved to New York and likened the country to a "retarded cousin." On Fox News, where embattled anger is the abiding emotion, talk show host Neil Cavuto said Canadians had "gotten too big for their britches" and may soon be an enemy of the United States.
Which brings us back to that 1930s-era invasion plan.
It starts with a seaborne assault on Halifax to cut Canada off from its British ally. A later version, approved in 1935, allowed for first-strike use of poison gas and strategic bombing of the city, if necessary.
It also posits that the U.S. invading forces take out Niagara Falls, seize Sudbury's strategic nickel mines, capture Winnipeg as the critical east-west rail juncture and attack Vancouver to deprive the British of a West Coast maritime base.
The 94-page document is rather long on geographic information -- important ports, main industries, transportation links -- and on published assessments of Canadian military strength. But it is rather skimpy on tactical details of a theoretical invasion.
Canada had its own plan, written nine years earlier, to counter a U.S. attack by invading the northern United States.
Likely, few Americans have spent time worrying about a Canadian invasion, other than in comedy clubs.
But the existence of War Plan - Red fed the imaginations of those Canadians who worried about the world's longest undefended border.
They believed that the Americans had always had a covetous view of their resource-rich country, and that the United States was always poised to invade if the opportunity arose.
The chief proponent of the invasion theorists is Floyd Rudmin, a U.S.-born, former Queen's University social psychology professor who has since decamped to the University of Tromso in Norway.
In the early 1990s, Prof. Rudmin wrote several articles -- much amplified in the Toronto Star -- on the U.S. expansion of Fort Drum in northern New York, arguing that the Americans were preparing to intervene if Canada experienced serious instability as a result of a Quebec secessionist movement.
Prof. Rudmin was critical of what he dubbed "the blind eye perspective" that Canadians maintained toward what he saw as obvious U.S. hostility toward its northern neighbour.
But as The Post noted, Canadians can probably relax for the foreseeable future, despite the bluster from the pundits. The U.S. military is otherwise occupied at the moment. Or are they just practising?
Battle plans
U.S. Joint Army and Navy
Basic War Plan -- Red
Key strategies
Capture Halifax to block British reinforcements
Seize key Winnipeg rail junction
Cut power by assault on Niagara Falls
March from Michigan to Sudbury nickel mines
Blockade both coasts
Use secret airbases to control airspace over Ontario
Victory
U.S. annexes captured territory
Canadian Defence
Scheme No. 1
Key strategies
Pre-emptive strikes from sea to sea
On word of U.S. invasion plan, Canadian forces would move to capture Spokane, Great Falls, Minneapolis, Buffalo, Albany and parts of Maine.
In face of U.S. counterattack, Canadian forces would retreat, blowing up bridges and railways, buying time until reinforcements from Britain could arrive.
Victory
Canada keeps Alaska
Perhaps as a public service to their side, The Washington Post yesterday dusted off a 75-year-old U.S. plan to invade Canada, offering it as a contrast to the situation in Iraq, where, it suggested, there was no plan.
First approved in 1930, Joint Army and Navy Basic War Plan - Red was drawn up to defend the United States in the event of war with Britain.
"During the Civil War, Irish-Americans in the North planned to capture Canada as a retaliation against British support for the Confederacy. I think they were called 'Finnian troops' or something."
YES! You're correct! It's one of the least known chaptes of Civil War history -- both the French & British colonial empires wanted to see the Union dissolve so they could "divide and conquer," the way they did w/the rest of the world (esp'ly India).
Canada, @ the time, was not a Confederation like it is today, but a series of separate British crown colonies (like we were before 1776). They were so concerned over the possibility of a US invasion after the Civil War as "payback" for the British Empire's support of the Southern states that representatives from each of the Canadian colonies met on Prince Edward Island to pull the colonies into a confederation, w/Queen Victoria as head of state. This came to fruition in 1867. This is why Prince Edward Island is called "The Birthplace of Confederation," and the 9-mile bridge connecting it to the mainland is called "Confederation Bridge."
"However, replace 'Briton' with 'China' or 'Russia' and the plan has some modern merits."
Personally, I'd replace Briton with Muslims.
Actually 4. Your two, another in 1838 , American supporters of the rebellion and again in 1866 , the Fenians.
We were their major Naval rival in that period.
Anticipated British invasion of northeastern United States
Planned U.S. invasion of Canada
I'm thinking along your thoughts. The Liberals are full bash America mode and hope to paint the COnservatives as pro-American. THis article is just a propaganda to keep 'evil AMericans and their Conservative supporters' in the minds of and intellectually weak Canadians.
Secretive Plans Exist For Canada Invasion: Bush Silent on Details
So what should we do, eh? Sit around and wait for them to attack us first? You know nothing aboot war, you hoser. ;)
Did God actually build her that way???? Way to go God!
'I don't think we'd need a plan to take out Canada, personally...."
Back in the 20's we probably needed a plan. Then we were weak and the Canadians actually had a military. Now a few troops of boy scouts with .22 rifles is all we would need.
Just a sample.
War Plan Orange was for war with the Japanese Empire.
War Plan Red/Orange was for a war with the Japanese-British Alliance.
War Plan Gold was for war with France
War Plan Silver was for war with Italy.
War Plan Green was for war with Mexico or Mexican Domestic Intervention.
War Plan Yellow or War Plan Violet was for war with China or China Domestic Intervention.
War Plan Gray was for war in the Caribbean.
War Plan Indigo was for Iceland Intervention.
War Plan Emerald was for Ireland Intervention in conjunction with War Plan Red.
War Plan Gray was for Azores Intervention.
War Plan Tan was for Cuba Intervention.
War Plan Black was for War with Germany. (Not seriously practiced after 1918.)
And my personal favorite because it tends to freak people out was War Plan White which was known as the "U.S. Domestic Contingency".
Well...they do have damned good beer.
Exhibit #1,002,394 that God is a man.
Its curious that the Canadians are talking about disarming the population when this dire threat hangs over them from the south.
Our Clever Canuck Plan
Part Three: Invasion!
Instruct all troops to stock up on field rations of Shreddies (only the good, good, whole wheat ones).
Open armouries at all bases and distribute weapons to soldiers.
Provide the Canadian civilian population with weaponry and encourage them to "point the small bit at anyone without a maple leaf badge". NOTE: Some followers have suggested that the use of guns is un-Canadian. We believe the evil is justified in this case. Read more about our weapons policy in The Gun Thing .
Canuck troops infiltrate the US-Canada border.
After meeting feeble resistance from the already-weakened-by our-clever-campaign-Americans, Canadian troops seize control of all US cities.
South America falls to the power-hungry Canadian advance.
Submarines and cool Bluenose-like ships (nuclear powered both!) are employed in the conquest of Europe.
Conquest of Europe lasts: Max. 3 days -- Min. 2 hours.
Peace is made with European powers...Canada sets up puppet governments in the once-independent countries.
Canada renames Russia "Claire and Jen Territory". Early polls show that Russians prefer the new name.
Canadian troops seize Asian capitols. Hong Kong movie directors get the entire thing on film. Chow Yun Fat defects to Canada and becomes our Minister of Propaganda in the Pacific Rim.
The Pope capitulates to Canadian demands and agrees to force Roman Catholic clergy to make loyalty oaths towards Canada.
Pope-mobile seized and re-tooled for use by Generals Claire and Jen.
Australia and Canada reach a win-win agreement. Canada will completely rule Australia, but due to friendly relations from our Commonwealth days, will take pity on the Aussies and kill Paul Hogan.
Canadian troops encircle the globe.
Peacekeepers are kept busy putting down minor rebellions.
All minor rebellions cease when it is realized that Canadianism is the Right and True Path.
Irish rock band U2 is allowed to record a single in honour of the Canadian conquest: "Sunday Happy Sunday (in the name of Claire and Jen) Remix Version 12".
Record charts (controlled by the Office Of The Generals) show single at no. 1.
Committee formed to design a new world flag.
Committee decides the Canadian flag (in its Glorious Perfection) is good enough for the entire world.
Canadian troops distribute Shreddies rations to starving American populations!
Huh??? You gotta be kidding. This coming form the folks who give
the ChiComs hundreds of Billions $$$ in trade surpluses enabling them to
become an economic and military superpower and also selling or giving them the
missile and military technology.
What hypocrisy!!!
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