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Just Saw "Narnia"...it Sucked
n/a | 12-27-05 | Bob J

Posted on 12/27/2005 11:28:47 AM PST by Bob J

After reading all the hype in the media and on FR, I was excited to see the film of the CS Lewis book. I have to say I was disappointed. For all it's grandiosity and provenance, I found it clunky, sometimes difficult to follow and worse, unbelieveable (even a "fantasy" movie must reasonable enough in the story and behavior of it's characters to hurdle the initial "willing suspension of disbelief")

The religious basis and backdop to the story has been argued at length on FR, so let's leave that at the doorstep and discuss it's cinematic achievements, or lack thereof.

The Story.

This may have been why I had a problem with the movie. After the presentation of the premise and the characters, I found myslef resisting acceptance that an entire fantasy world filled with magic, mythologic creatures, witches, generals and armies was waiting for a four small children to come and save their world....by prophecy and design. It would have been more believeable if they happened into the world by accident and through clever plot twists were responsible for the salvation of Narnia. But there was nothing really special about these kids, no ancestors with a special connection/knowledge to Narnia, no special abilities, expertise or talents, They were not exceptional in any way...they were just kids. Why did the land of Narnia need them? They added nothing that wasn't already there and in fact detracted from it.

The opening.

The setup took far too long. I wasn't watching my watch but it must have taken over 20-30 minutes for the first kid to walk out the back of the wardrobe closet into the land of Narnia. I didn't understand the emphasis placed on this part of the book as it had little to do with subsequent events. Did it matter that much to the story that the the kids were sent off to the professor because their mother was concerned about the danger of WWII? There was a passing reference later about being shipped off to avoid the effects of war only to be dropped in the middle of the war in Narnia (and whether they should get involved at all), but it fell limply to the ground.

The characters.

Ouch. Let's go by the numbers.

The Professor and his maid (?).

Good cop bad cop. The maid is stern, the professor, kind. So what? The movie feints toward this professor knowing more about Narnia and the wardrobe, but it leaves it there. You think he is going to add some specific knowledge or experience that the kids might benefit from (if not be involved himself) but they movie drops it and he becomes a useless figure in the overall plot. Why waste screen time on it?

Lucy - A typical, precocious, British eight year old. The most likeable character in the movie (which might not be saying much) but I grow weary of the English tendancy to cast their child characters beyond their years. I had three "laugh" moments in this movie, two concerning her. First, when she hits the bullseye with her magic "knife" and then when she "flashes it" and heads off to vanquish the armies of evil. A real laugher.

Susan - The most annoying, negative character in the movie. At first I made parallels to Wendy from "Peter Pan, but you believed Wendy was concerned about the younger children while Susan comes off as a party killing shrew. They needed to soften this character but didn't. Throughout most of the movie I kept wondering when she was going to use those damn arrows...had to wait until the last 2 minutes and by then it was anticlimatic.

Edmund - The anti-hero who becomes hero. I busted out laughing (third instance) when they put he and his brother in those stupid looking suits of armor. We are asked to believe this 10 and 14 year old are going to take part in a "Braveheart" type battle with huge warriors and mythological creatures and vanquish all? I might have believed it if they were given extrahuman strength, speed and agility. Even with their magic "implements" the battle scenes with these two were comical. Think of William Wallace in a sword fight with Doogie Howser.

Peter - Peter is supposed to be the 14 year old hero of the story, protecting his siblings while winding their way through the dangers of a mystical kingdom. The residents of Narnia wait for his arrival to lead their armies of druids and gargoyles againt the forces of evil in a final battle of epic proportions and historic finality. Sorry. Through the first 4/5ths of the movie Peter comes off as an effeminate British girlie boy and it is too much to ask the audience to believe he is the saviour of Narnia. Why would they want or need him?

The Witch - Huh? Tilda Swinson does comes off as an evil bitch but I never did beleive she, or anyone, would want to be the King or Queen of Narnia. It would be like Sauron of Moldor and his legions of Orks waging an epic battle for the control of The Shire. Snooze.

That's my nutshell of a take. If you ave seen narnia and would like to comment, feel free to do so but let's keep it clean.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: moviereview; narnia
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To: Bob J
Think of William Wallace in a sword fight with Doogie Howser.

Hey! No dissing NPH! He rocked in H&KGTWC, what with snorting coke of some broad's butt out of the sunroof of Harold's Car as they watched while riding a Cheetah.

I'll be watching narnia in the next few days, I'll be sure to followup.

41 posted on 12/27/2005 11:40:11 AM PST by Malsua
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To: Bob J
They didn't so I assumed they wanted to target an older audience.

CS Lewis books, like the movie, target the 8-12 demographic (the movie is true to the book). Tolkien, like Rowling, targeted age 8 to adult.

42 posted on 12/27/2005 11:40:30 AM PST by peyton randolph (<a href="http://clinton.senate.gov/">shrew</a>)
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To: Bob J

I saw Cheaper by the Dozen 2 with my daughters yesterday and really liked it. I'm not going to post a thread onit though.

$6 for a friggin soda? I can do NETFLIX for 6 months for what i paid yesterday.


43 posted on 12/27/2005 11:40:33 AM PST by Fierce Allegiance (I miss my dad.)
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To: justche

I understand, I read the Potter books and loved the movies.


44 posted on 12/27/2005 11:40:37 AM PST by Bob J (RIGHTALK.com...a conservative alternative to NPR!)
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To: Xenalyte

re: lion didn't up and eat all those obnoxious kids

Take heart, there's a great story in the Bible about a bunch of kids teasing a prophet. He warns them to stop and when they don't he orders a she bear out of the woods who kills and eats them. Great story. Warms my heart every time I read it.


45 posted on 12/27/2005 11:40:56 AM PST by jwpjr
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To: kevkrom; Bob J

Oh wait! I definitely mean Voyage of the Dawn Treader, not Prince Caspian. I actually remembered the title as VotDT but someone just recently told me I remembered wrong, and that the title was Prince Caspian with VotDT as a subtitle..


46 posted on 12/27/2005 11:41:03 AM PST by AntiGuv (™)
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To: Bob J

i took my kiddos to see it and we all enjoyed it.
i also think it follows the book and is truly geared
to the children the series was written for.

i first read the entire series in elementary school and have
re-read them all as an adult. it's one of my fav kids series.


47 posted on 12/27/2005 11:41:11 AM PST by leda (One brown eyed babe who's headed for a better life.)
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To: Bob J; Trajan88

Thanks for the review. I like to see movies that evoke strong emotions, esp. ideological ones with points of view, which is why I'll see Munich, whatever the criticisms.

The Island was good. Not A+ but good. Now "Stealth," there was a truly bad movie.


48 posted on 12/27/2005 11:41:24 AM PST by Shermy
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To: Bob J
> would have been more believeable if they happened into the world by accident and through clever plot twists were responsible for the salvation of Narnia. But there was nothing really special about these kids, no ancestors with a special connection/knowledge to Narnia, no special abilities, expertise or talents, They were not exceptional in any way...they were just kids. Why did the land of Narnia need them? They added nothing that wasn't already there and in fact detracted from it. <


I have not read the books but saw the movie last night.An adult needs to watch with a understanding of Christianity to fully enjoy.The questions you pose above are an example of this.Christ and his disciples were all people of little consequence and no special leadership qualities and they turned the world upside down.It is clear that this parallel world like ours is not random but created and preserved by the hand of God.Thus it was prophesied that the children would come and they did.
49 posted on 12/27/2005 11:41:52 AM PST by Blessed
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To: Bob J
Honey, get thee to a library and read the series! Because I am ill with the turkey flu (some darn turkey in one of our families came to the get togethers ill...thoughtless!) I will spare you the lecture, but here's the short version: Don't you be dissin' the only steady childhood friends I had! Now, hand me the PuffsPlus on your way out!
50 posted on 12/27/2005 11:41:54 AM PST by blu (People, for God's sake, think for yourselves!)
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To: Bob J

Bob, I agree with you that its Kludgy.. its clearly a movie made for folks who have read the book... the character development and relationships that are at the heart of the story, never really develop on screen... time constraints would be my guess.


51 posted on 12/27/2005 11:41:56 AM PST by HamiltonJay
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To: Bob J

C.S. Lewis is.... Harry Potter's OCCULT-MASTER......1st Peter 5:8


52 posted on 12/27/2005 11:42:16 AM PST by maestro
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To: Sans-Culotte

That's the way C.S. Lewis wanted it. You read LWW then TMN. I think you are supposed to wonder "How did Narnia get there?" "Why did these kids get to go to Narnia?" "What happens to the kids?".

If you read TMN first, you don't have any questions about Narnia.


53 posted on 12/27/2005 11:42:19 AM PST by luckystarmom
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To: Bob J

Sounds like you have more of a quarrel with the book than with the movie. Narnia, along with "Lord of the Rings" helped define the fantasy genre that still thrives today, a genre defined by the hero being the most unlikely of characters drawn by destiny into a conflict that he did not start, but is destined to end.

Sound familiar? Are we not living through that time right now, when George W. Bush, who many dismissed as being the most unlikely of people to lead this country, is now waging war against one of the darkest forces the world has ever encountered in the form of militant islam?

There's a reason this type of story works. The archetypes laid out in the Rings trilogy and the Narnia books are part of what give us the strength and courage to take on the enemies who would snuff out the light of our humanity and civilization. The heroes come from the least likely of places and are drawn into conflicts that at first do not involve them, but turn into personal missions.

You are, of course, free to laugh off the transformation of the child, the halfling, or any other "insignificant" person into a hero, but these stories will continue to give us hope against overwhelming odds.


54 posted on 12/27/2005 11:42:22 AM PST by SlowBoat407 (The best stuff happens just before the thread snaps.)
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To: Xenalyte
Another square building came out, this time with windows and chimneys.

“A model of the Manchester branch of the Young Women’s Christian Association,” said Harvey.

“Are there any lions?” asked Eric hopefully. He had been reading Roman history and thought that where you found Christians you might reasonably expect to find a few lions.

— Saki, The Toys of Peace.


55 posted on 12/27/2005 11:42:47 AM PST by dighton
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To: Bob J

It was no Lord of the Rings, but it was a good movie. You have to accept it at face value.

What is special about the children is that they are humans. Hence why the prophecy concerns them. The world was created by Aslan, spurred on by humans, and the world ends by the actions of humans. Yet there are few actual humans in the world of Narnia itself.

By the by, the Professor was, as a child, the main character of the first book in the series "the Magician's nephew".


56 posted on 12/27/2005 11:42:58 AM PST by Alexander Rubin (Octavius - You make my heart glad building thus, as if Rome is to be eternal.)
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To: Bob J

I saw it yesterday. I enjoyed it.


57 posted on 12/27/2005 11:43:30 AM PST by TennesseeGirl
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To: Bob J
I will read them, but that aside, the movie still sucked.

Don't bother. You will be disappointed. I think you need to read them as a child to really get drawn in. The movie left me wondering about the books I read as a kid. Now that I have read them again, they are VERY simplistic. I still like them though.

58 posted on 12/27/2005 11:43:49 AM PST by abner (Looking for a new tagline- Next outrage please!- Got it! PRIVATE PROPERTY RIGHTS LOST IN THE USA!)
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To: Bob J
I just saw it yesterday, and I thought it was superb. I liked it much better than LOTR because the characters were much better developed. The children were magnificent. Even the animal characters were believable, in an animal character kind of way. I didn't find any weaknesses at all in the movie. A+

Of particular interest to Christians was Aslan's death and resurrection, but more surprisingly, the frequent mentions of "sons of Adam" and "daughters of Eve." The lines jump out from the dialogue, instructing us that we're more than random collections of molecules.

59 posted on 12/27/2005 11:43:49 AM PST by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: Bob J

I loved this movie, although unlike you, I did not expect anything but a fantasy/children's movie from a fantasy/children's book.

The scenery was breathtaking and the special affects/makeup of the creatures were just amazing. They did sissify Peter a bit, but in the book he was a bit of a weeny as well. The point in that I think was him stepping up and becoming a man.

It seems you were expecting more out of a children's movie than you should have.


60 posted on 12/27/2005 11:44:20 AM PST by sandbar
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