Posted on 12/26/2005 4:22:51 PM PST by hiho hiho
Today is one of the worst days for Technical Support people in the computer industry.
People around the globe, unwrapping their new computers, iPods, cell phones, and other technological marvels will be popping in the batteries or plugging in various connectors only to find out they have absolutely no idea what they're doing.
It gives me chills down my spine. There's no telethon for chills down the spine, is there? I'd be the poster child, standing up on stage with... um... Christopher Lloyd or...um... Rob Schneider. Yeah, any time a movie of his is out, I've got Spine Chill Syndrome. It's not even covered on my lousy insurance plan, either.
So these newbies want to get all their settings on the new computer while getting all their porn copied over and wiped out of the old one so they can give it to the kids (who will probably just fill it with porn all over again).
Or maybe the connector in their iPod is a dud. Not every device that passes the in-factory QC tests keeps their virgin status. So they want to pick up a replacement and... the store's closed.
Don't forget about batteries. It's not that they forgot to include them, but the fact that Mom and Dad or Aunt Rose or Uncle Harry got you the wrong batteries. Leave it to them to convince the museum to hand over the B-sized batteries because they think those are what will power your Robosaurus.
Who do you think they call to complain that the store's closed? You know, because the Technical Support person can have the entire store pages and openup the store for them.
There's always the RTFM issues. Gotta love it when the question is right there boldly featured in the documentation. When the person says they never read the manual, I usually reply I never answer questions that are in the first five pages of it, so turn to page 4 and tell me what you see there.
Did you purchase a sub-500 computer for your kid? It's got a big Celeron or Duron or "Moron Who Fell For The Salesman's Line Of Crap That Crippled Processors Are Good Enough And That Shared Memory Will Run The Latest Games" sticker on it? Why not just put a sticker on it that says "Overclock Me" on the monitor? Kid's going to raid the Tupperware drawer and try to rig up a cooling system using the fishtank pump and the gooey insides of that freezer-pack... and you know that stuff kills dogs and stains the carpet.
Bought it all online and now you're clicking through the interface looking for how to return all that junk? Heh. Heh heh heh. Yeah, call that 800 number for Customer Service. See if they're in. No? Well, I guess you can just bitch at the Technical Support folks long and loud enough, they can magically handle your non-technical issue. Use lots of swear-words too. It excites them.
Oh well. At least there's one bright and shiny thing about this being the worst Technical Support day of the year - now it's India's problem.
The worst day? Well, it's Valentime's Day. Because Technical Support people are lonely, frustrated losers.
Oh, and they're ugly, too.
yeah, and you better figure out the computer glitch before your maintenance warranty runs out - like in about a week. AFter your week, the calls will cost ya. Sad thing is it takes a week of phoning technical support to get a real live person.
roflmao
It ain't much fun being on the other side either.
I wonder what country Mr. Simon lives in that forces people to work in tech support.
Santa brought two iPod shuffles and a Kodak digital printer. We've been to CompUSA 4 times today trying to figure everything out.
(Snort!) Very funny.
I am a RTFM person, but sometimes the language is beyond understanding, at least for a dummy like me.
And when you get a real live person, they have such a strong accent, it's hard to understand them!!
"...r techie equipment must apply for a license proving they are not too stupid and therefore dangerous to possess said equipment...."
Well, that lets me out, because I simply don't have the time to figure the widgets out. My plate is too full as it is.
if they have a strong accent, it's probably because they are in Saudi Arabia.
Outsourcing.
That is exactly the reason. I got a computer virus...wiped out everything! I paid for tech support, and got someone I couldn't even understand!
What can I say? We give to other countries, they give back.
I don't care for it personally, either. It's infuriating, especially when I don't have time to waste. And me a Southerner? Understanding a Saudi accent is not easy.
I just told them I had a hearing problem and that I needed them to speak slowly. It helped, but not nearly as much as having an American on the phone would have.
I D 10 T problems!!!!!
That's what I say, too! And I add that I'm not very smart and would they please explain slowly.
It's better than trying to understand them when they are talking a million words a minute! :)
I used to work for WordPerfect in Support. That brought back many memories (some bad.) I can laugh now.
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