[mainepatsfan]

More from the NY Times story:

ACLU outraged that Washington detained innoncent civilians to keep his crossing a secret!

[the final gentleman]

WASHINGTON MISREPRESENTS DELAWARE CROSSING
ADVERSE WEATHER REPORT WITHHELD FROM TROOPS

Dateline 12/24/76 nytimes "Washington lied"
said an unnamed reporter embedded with General
Washington's embittered troops waiting to cross
the ice-jumbled Delaware River. "He told us that
a warm spell was coming" said the threadbare
man standing barefoot in two feet of cold snow.

"And worse, I saw General Washington look away while
American troops mistreated two captured Hessian
prisoners. One they rode like a pony and the other
they made quack like a duck." he said in disbelief.

As readers of the can see this war cannot be won.
Now is the time to cut our losses and petition
the King. Later, after General Washington becomes
President we can impeach him for high crimes and re-institute our working arrangement with our English friends overseas.