Ron White: I was sitting on a bean bag chair, naked, eating Cheetos the other day when Robert Tilton came on TV. He's a televangelist out of Dallas.
He looked at me and said, "Are you lonely?"
Yeah.
"Have you spent half your life in bars pursuing sins of the flesh?"
This guy's good!
"Are you sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating Cheetos?"...
Yes, sir!
"Do you have the urge to get up and send me a thousand dollars?"
Ha, ha close! I thought he was talking about me there for a second!
He liked to snack on Cheetos, until someone brought him a bag of Doritos, which he took silently into a corner and ate in a hurry.
Sounds like a rat hoarding food.(oh wait, it is!)
I can just imagine him squatting in a corner, nibbling a dorito chip, his eyes darting side to side, snapping at anyone who tries to take those chips...just like my chihuahua.