he Rules of Combat
Murphy's Rules of Combat
* Friendly fire - isn't.
* Recoilless rifles - aren't.
* Suppressive fires - won't.
* You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
* A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
* If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
* Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
* If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.
* The enemy attacks on two occasions: when he's ready and when you’re not
* If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short
* All 5 second grenade fuses burn down in 3 seconds
* Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
* When your attack is going really well, its an ambush
* Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
* If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
* The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
* No plan ever survives initial contact.
* There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
* A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
* The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
* The easy way is always mined.
* Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
* Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
* Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
* If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
* When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
* Incoming fire has the right of way.
* No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
* No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
* If the enemy is within range, so are you.
* The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
* Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
* Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.
* Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
* Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.
* Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
* Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
* Tracers work both ways.
* If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
* When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
* Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
* Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
* Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
* Weather ain't neutral.
* If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
* Air defense motto: shoot'em down; sort'em out on the ground.
* 'Flies high, it’ll die; low and slow, it'll go.
* The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
* Napalm is an area support weapon.
* Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
* B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
* Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
* The one item you need is always in short supply.
* Interchangeable parts aren't.
* It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
* When in doubt, empty your magazine.
* The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
* Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
* If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.
* If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped together.
* Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.
* The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
* The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
* If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
* There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
* If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
* You'll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them.
* Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
* Well .. It could be worse: It could be raining .. and we could be out in it. So he said, "Cheer up: it could be worse!" So we cheered up. And it got worse.
* The spare batteries for whatever your troops have been carrying are either nearly dead or for the wrong radio.
* The ping you heard was the antenna snapping off at 6 inches above the flex mount, while a fire mission was being called in on a battalion of hostiles who know your position.
* Why is it the CO sticks his head in your radio hooch to see if anything has come down from DIV when you are listening to the VOA broadcasting the baseball games?
* How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another?
* Why does your 500-watt VRC-26 (real old) not make it across 200 miles while a ham with 50 watts on the same MARS frequency can be heard from Stateside?
* Know why short RTOs have long whips on their radios? So someone can find them when they step in deep water.
* The enemy "Always" times his attack to the second you drop your pant's in the Latrine!!
* The ammo you need NOW is on the NEXT airdrop!!
* Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
* If your ambush is properly set the enemy won't walk into it.
The New Call for Fire Procedure for the Army of One
Picture troops under fire, desperately needing artillery support, making a cellphone call and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling the 25th Infantry Division's automated artillery support request line. Please be assured that we will attempt to assist you with all available resources in the shortest time possible.
For air support, please call the U.S. Air Force at 1-800-BOMBNOW.
For naval gun fire, please call 1-888-SEASICK.
If you are attacking a fixed enemy position, please press 1.
If you are engaged in mobile defense, please press 2.
If you are defending a fixed position, please press 3.
If you are setting up a hasty defense or are about to be overrun, please press 4.
If you wish to cancel a prior fire mission request, please press 5. Press the star key at any time to return to the main menu.
If you are using a TA-312, remain on the line and one of our customer support counselors will be with you shortly.
Please select the type of fire mission you would like.
If you would like 81 mm or 4.2 inch mortars, please press 1.
If you would like 155 mm howitzers, please press 2.
If you would like advanced munitions, such as fuel-oil explosives or scattering mines, please press 3 to speak with one of our soldier advocates to complete our brief Advanced Firepower Usage Survey.
If you would like to request chemical or nuclear weapons, please press 4 and hold the line. The Secretary of Defense will speak with you as soon as possible.
Enter the map coordinates of the target you would like to strike, followed by the pound sign.
If you need to enter map grid designations, please use the star for a "q" and the pound sign for an "i."
Please remember to verify your coordinates and that your request may take several minutes to process.
[Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep]
You have entered co-ordinates 32364519.
If this is correct, please press 1.
If this is incorrect, please press 2 and re-enter the coordinates. Thank you.
Please enter your battalion, company and platoon passcodes, each followed by the pound sign. As soon as we verify your passcodes, we will begin processing your request.
If you have forgotten your passcode, please contact 1-800-IFORGOT for a temporary passcode.
Please enter your passcode now.
[Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-#, beep-beep-beep-beep-#, beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-#]
Thank you. [Pause] Your passcodes have been verified and your request will be processed.
We strongly suggest that you and your troops take cover as soon as possible.
Thank you for using the th Infantry Division's artillery request support line and have a nice day.
Thanks Dub!