If it can't be done with a hammer and vice grips then I can't do it.
Hammer, vice grips and duct tape.
You're a better man than I - I have yet to learn how channel locks work, and I'm 58 years old and the owner of two of 'em.
....Had a remodel carpenter here a couple of years ago and while discussing tools, he said "if it doesn't have a cord or an airhose, I don't own it".