Do you know how to use these tools?

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[Old Professer]

True voltmeters don't use batteries, they are galvanometers; ohmmeters need batteries.

Unfortunately, digital meters need batteries just to say hello.

[azhenfud]

24: Adjustable wrench: combination bolt and nut rounder and hammer substitute

[dljordan]

All of them, intimately.

[dljordan]

"off topic but when I was 14 working on a construction site I was told to go fetch a crooked 2x4."

That's ok. As a young aircraft mechanic in the Navy they would send you for a gallon of "bulkhead remover" (wall remover for you non-nautical types) or a gallon of "propwash".

[Petronski]

HAMMER:OR "IRISH MICROMETER"

LOL

[dljordan]

"We'd always send the new guys down to the maintenance bay to get a bottle of squelch oil. "

That's a good one!

[dljordan]

"Ball peen hammer....good for flatening ball peens"

I've used them for flattening thumbnails.

[dljordan]

Geez dude! Were you wearing safety glasses?

[azhenfud]

My first cousin had an old bicycle he would ride on the dirt road without tires - just on the rim. He used to kick down really hard on the pedals to spin the rear tire really good as he'd take off.

Once the chain slipped off and he had to go lay down on the couch for a while.

[coloradan]

It's in the posted article: "Hammer: Use as an alternative to buying dark nail varnishes..."

[calljack]

What you mess up with molding you cover with paint.


Last one.

What you mess up with paint you cover with artwork.

[BureaucratusMaximus]

I cut the end of my left thumb off in a table saw (and, of course, was grinning as I read your post).

As I am now grinning after reading your screename.

[FrogInABlender]

T-Post Driver: Metal cylinder with handles, used to knock a hole in the top of ones head after it comes off the top of a post that has inexplicably gotten shorter.

[bert]

That would be a Crescent Spanner on this list.

[yarddog]

As soon as I read that, it occurred to me that I had seen 250mm on one of my Crescent wrenches.

Just a few minutes ago, I went out and looked and sure enough, marked 250mm. Of course they mean the length of the handle.

[BureaucratusMaximus]

Pry bar: An initially straight steel rod ranging in size from 2 feet to 4 feet whose characteristics can change when trying to pry up stumps from small trees, bushes, or extracting other large objects buried in the ground. Pry bar slippage is known to cause headaches, cussing, extreme temporary anger, and loss of blood.

[Ranxerox]

Mr. Legs once used an electric drill to uncork a bottle of wine...

LOL

"If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

-Red Green

[Boiler Plate]

You are definitely management material.

[P.O.E.]

LOL. Or furniture.

[MarkL]

How about:

Metal Lathe: Tool that strips pretty coils of metal off a piece of bar stock that slices the pads off of your thumbs and finger tips.

Or:

File Handle: The piece of wood, plastic, or metal that goes on the end of a file that keeps it (the file) from being driven into your arm when one of the mandrels holding the bar stock on the lathe hits it. See also Mandrell.

Mandrell: A piece of metal designed to drive a file its entire lenth into your arm when it hits the end of the file, and you've forgotten to put a file handle on the file. Also used to hold the bar stock on the lathe.

Vice: Used to grasp the end of the file that's sticking out of your forearm after having been driven into your arm by a mandrell on a lathe. Once held securely by the vice, you simply pull your arm off of the file.

BTW, I know a guy to whom both of these have happened.

Mark