"If it wasn't for the birth of Christ, this wouldn't be the most financially lucrtative month of the year for merchants."
It's a celebration of Christ's birth as well as a holiday that helps stimulate the economy. Why does the left want to ruin it? I just don't get it. I don't think they're actually anti-capitalist, to be fair, but it seems that somehow their hatred of Christianity goes hand in hand with a hatred of the commercial aspects of the holiday. It's all very strange. And something that cries out for a governmental solution, to help ease the crisis with some commonsense rules. That's why I've been pleased to hear talk of a Christmas Preservation Act, though based on what I've heard about it, it might not do quite enough.
Great idea! Get the federal government to enact a set of "Christmas Greeting Regulations," together with some mandatory sentencing guidelines for the imprisonment of "speech offenders" who are caught in the act of improperly extending a seasonal greeting. I've taken the liberty of composing an initial draft. Let me know what you think.
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(1) During the period of time between October 29 and January 2 of each calender year, the phrase "happy holidays" may not be used by any individual or business entity in any context which explicitly or implicitly references any religious holiday falling within this restricted time period.
(2) Any individual who now wishes to extend to another a seasonal greeting must, in advance, ascertain the specific seasonal celebration and style of greeting preferred by the recipient (the "greetee") before commencing with any such greeting.
(3) If the greetee's preferred seasonal celebration and style of greeting cannot be ascertained, the greeter may extend a greeting only if it is inclusive of all seasonal celebrations and styles of greeting known to the greeter.
(4) If a method (3) greeting is employed by any individual, a disclaimer containing the following substantive content, stated verbally in substantially compliant format, must immediately follow such greeting:
(a) the celebrations listed in the greeting are all those currently known to the greeter;
(b) those celebrations that are unknown to the greeter should be inferred by the greetee as included by implication within the greeting; and
(c) any previously unknown celebrations made known to the greeter by the greetee will be duly incorporated in all of the greeter's future method (3) greetings.
(5) For business entities wishing to attract seasonal customers, permitted signage must include a listing of all seasonal celebrations and methods of seasonal greeting. Business entities will be expected to know each and every extant seasonal celebration and style of greeting, and the personal greeting disclaimer exception contained in paragraph (4) will not be applicable or available to a business greeter.
(6) Method (5) business signage must list all seasonal celebrations and styles of greeting in descending order in accordance with the precise percentages of participation by the business entity's customer base, subject to immediate modification to give listing priority to any group of celebrants that complains in writing about its position on the list.
(6) The only exception to the foregoing regulations will be the employment of no seasonal greeting whatsoever by an individual or business entity.