Huhh?? Most people who are raising the issue of "Merry Christmas" also welcome the "Happy Hanukka" too. What they object to is the artificial substitute of "Happy Holidays" thats given. Now of course, there being like 10:1 Christians to Jews in the country one would then happen to hear "Merry Christmas" more often than "Happy Hannuka" but reasonable people would agree that that's nobodys fault.
Of course the issue with Christians is much broader than a deletion of "Merry Christmas" in retail chains. There has been for some time now a consistant full frontal assault from the ACLU that we've been dealing with in public and private institutions at many levels. So yeah, sensativities are also running high and for good reason.
Right. I gotcha. Nobody's allowed to say "happy holidays."
So that I'm clear on the new free speech restrictions, and so that I don't get crosswise with a member of the persecuted majority, I've take the liberty of summarizing the new behavioral rules below. Please correct as needed:
(1) Anybody who now wants to extend to another a seasonal greeting must, in advance, ascertain the recipient's preferred celebration and style of greeting.
(2) If the preferred celebration and style of greeting cannot be ascertained, one may extend a greeting only if reference is made to all known seasonal celebrations, and only if all known styles of seasonal greeting are verbally expressed.
(3) If method (2) is employed in the extension of a seasonal greeting, a disclaimer must be included that (a) celebrations listed in the greeting are those currently known to the greeter; (b) celebrations unknown by the greeter should be inferred by the greetee as included by implication in the greeting; and (c) any previously unknown celebrations made known to the greeter by the greetee will be duly incorporated in all of the greeter's future method (2) greetings.
(4) For business entities wishing to attract seasonal customers, permitted signage must include a listing of all seasonal celebrations and methods of seasonal greeting (with the express exception of "happy holidays," which is hereafter forbidden speech). Business entities will be expected to know all such celebrations and styles of greeting, and therefore the personal greeting disclaimer exception contained in paragraph (3) will be inapplicable. Failure to list any seasonal celebration or style of greeting in business signage will be grounds for business forfeiture.
(5) Method (4) business signage must list all seasonal celebrations and styles of greeting in descending order according to percentages of customer base participation, subject to immediate modification to give listing priority to any group of celebrants that complains about its position on the list.
(6) The only exception to the foregoing is the employment of no seasonal greeting whatsoever.
I think that covers it (although I would like to know whether I am also required to physically silence those who disobey the foregoing rules-of-speech, or whether I can just ignore the "happy holidayers"?)