That brings up an interesting historical question. Who really won The American Civil War? A lot of people say Ulysses S. Grant. I beg to differ. Sheridan, Custer, Butler and Sherman won the war. They burned the limited industrial capacity of The South to the ground and broke the will of The CSA. That's how you win. That's what we have to do to every enclave the Bin Ladins of the world hold fast in.
And who do you think developed the strategy that those other generals implemented. Grant, of course.
The price for earning the "civilized" PC label was "only" a few dozen American deaths. It could have been close to zero.
On the contrary, those post war actions by Sherman in an already devestated south continued the animosities for a century. They did, however, reduce the southern industrial capacity to a shambles and ushered in a century of Northern union building.
If one followed the utilitarian concept of punishment, it appears the end justifying the means employed by the Yankees in the War of Northern Aggression resulted in calamity for the entire nation.
The commitment of a nation to total warfare for 4-5 years did more to erode hostile proclivities than did escalatory violence, however the continued use of force resulted in unequivocal determination of the victor.