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Glad to help. World War Two began when capitalists and Jews tried to dominate the world and crush the workers' necks under the iron boot-heel of oppression. A man named Karl Marx took control of Russia to fight the capitalists and his brother Groucho took control of Germany - he was the guy with the funny-looking mustache. Groucho helped the Brits out with an urban renewal project in London and they helped him out with one in Dresden. Karl created a workers' paradise by shooting anyone who was unhappy.

In the meantime, Japan bombed Pearl Harbor because they got overcharged at one of the resort hotels in Waikiki for those little bitty bottles of sake in the minibar. The U.S. got upset and, as usual, spoiled everybody's fun by dropping large bombs on everyone. Groucho ate a bullet and turned the government over to Mozart - remember how I helped you with your last term paper? Karl Marx died of AIDS in San Francisco and turned his government over to a guy who pounded the tables with his shoe and another guy with a splotch on his head who turned the government over to the Jews and the capitalists.

And the whole damn thing was Bush's fault.

Go ahead and cut-and-paste this thing in Word - most teachers will give you an "A." You do that by highlighting the text and bringing up a DOS window and typing "FORMAT C:" - this formats the paper properly. Now go get your Uncle Bill a beer...

Now go get your Uncle Bill a beer...

LMAO, Bill. Here's your beer...

Here ya go uncle Bill. (They put my photo on the label.)

Don’t ask me why, but I was looking through old posts and found this one. Cracks me up.