"Unproven, evil, satanic theories."
They are not unproven, one can demonstrate the "fact" regarding the "theory" of lift simply through the use of colored smoke and a wind tunnel with the corresponding math to describe what is going on. Or yet, build a plane.
What hasn't been proven is that life can arise from non-life...though evolution is supposedly more concerned with the Origin of species and their development into modern forms and not with Life's(in the macro sense) origins per se.
The problem with the theory of evolution as opposed to the theory of Lift is that you can concretely demonstrate lift,(build a plane with certain mathematical and physical characteristics and it will fly). Evolution at best can only be demonstrated INFERENTIALLY through measurements and predictions based on observations of strata, age of rocks and fossils,ect and "educated" speculations.
You science types are ultimately going to have to build a time machine so that you can show concretely that evolution unguided by any sort of the divine actually occured, inferences won't make the "plane" fly so to speak.