I generally get it.
Since I'm in the business, and most of my meals at top-end establishments are comp-ed, I make sure that I find out what the total would have been, and tip accordingly. I've gone out with a friend for a 'free' dinner that included paired wines for each course, and would have cost $300 had it not been a comp. I tipped out at 25% that night.
/john
Smart. Tipping up front and as the meal progresses is money well spent, too.
The only time I mention tips is when I take the little one's out. I know and the staff know they are going to be messy. Usually a joke about how big a mess they make determines their tip and laughs and special attention to the kids result. The best way to get a bigger tip with me is to give my lil "darlins" VIP treatment:') Only a few times have I left without a tip and I followed up with a call to the manager. Yall are talking about higher scale "diners" though. I try to tip all food related service people. Sometimes I have to complain to the manager because they aren't allowed to accept though. I would have expected Kerry to have left a dollar or two on that Wendy's table.