Posted on 11/25/2005 5:21:28 AM PST by Past Your Eyes
Photocopier supplier Canon is warning customers to take better care of their office equipment during the Christmas period, claiming that the festive season traditionally leads to a 25 percent hike in service calls due to incidents such as the classic backside copying prank.
Such a stunt, a mainstay of the office party, often results in cracked glass on the copier, with 32 percent of Canon technicians claiming to have been called out to fix glass plates during the Christmas period after attempts to copy body parts went wrong.
Tim Andrews, a Canon employee from London, said: "We always fit lots of new glass to copiers after New Year due to 'rear-end copying.'"
In fact, Canon claims a shocking 46 percent of service calls are in response to non-work-related breakages.
Geoff Bush from the north of England said one case he'd attended, where a young lady had cracked the glass mid-scan, also jammed the scanner so that it wasn't until the machine was fixed and her colleagues all sober that copies of her backside starting pouring from the machine.
Partly in response to this trend--or perhaps because of the "supersizing" of the western physique--Canon has now increased the thickness of its glass by an extra millimeter.
However, one of the most alarming tales comes to us from service engineer Steven Mannion of northern England. "I had to repair a machine with a photocopy of a man's groin jammed in it," Mannion said.
We can only hope he meant it was the photocopy that was jammed in the machine.
Mannion added: "The manager suggested an office identity parade to see who Canon could charge for the call-out charge."
Lysol is now mandatory for all copier repairmen's kit.
You can't make this stuff up.
I was working on design of a large console with a couple of monitors for a nameless US government agency. The customer liaison was a very conscientious lady who wanted everything just right, including the operator's chair. We had gone through three or four sample chairs that didn't satisfy her. I offered the suggestion to our boss that we make the copy machine available to her, along with a few minutes privacy, and we could have data to work from. Didn't go over too well.
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ROFLMAO!! Does that floor look a little damp there?
Where are the "managers" at these office parties?
Probably sitting up on the copy machine so they can better observe things.
Off to the supply closet to fetch some more paper.
"Yeah, that's the ticket.
I was only in the supply closet...
getting some more copy paper...
With my new secretary... Morgan Fairchild."
A few days later, he read a letter from a listener saying that "she didn't get fired for....she got fired for getting behind in her work."
I am so proud of the capitalist free market. No demand will stay unsatisfied for long.
Bump for slow day at work.
He was trying to reproduce.
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